You've Once, Twice, Three Cracked my Aces

I was tired last night and should not have played in the first place. But I was also bored and KajaWife asked if there was no poker tournament I could join. I replied that "there's always a poker tournament, for now" and fired up FTP to try my daily double powers again. I started very poorly and got short stacked pretty quickly. I managed to bounce back and get a good groove going. I then went on to get my Aces cracked three times in less than 5 minutes on both tables. Once against a short holding 8Ts when he hit a T on the flop and the river. Then when I a pot raised pre and post flop, turn and river. Villain had KT and had flopped a K and would not let it go. He got his T on the river (again). Then a medium stack (bigger than mine) called my all-in pre-flop with 88 and got his 2-outer on the flop. I was on MACT (Mega Aces Crack Tilt) and chip dumped the other tourney. I was having none of it.

In other news, I got myself into a Fixed Limit tourney at DreamPoker by mistake again with 74 runners. It was a crazy game and I made the final table with the chip lead. I then went on to lose a massive pot when my KK got capped pre-flop, capped on the flop that had a K, capped on the turn that had two clubs and lost to a donkey who managed to raise every bet until his AQs made the club flush on the river. I played a little more and was out in 6th:

My Christmas present arrived a little late

But here it is anyway. I just got it today and it's awesome. I can multi-table 72 tables and not need a mouse!

Meth labs?

Ever wonder why you always get that nervous eye tick every damn time you stay at that motel just off the strip? Well it might just be the crystal meth left in the coffee pot!

Poker After Dark Finalist

I guess something must be clicking lately. I decided to forgo the insanity that is the Poker After Dark 180/360 SNG and buy in to the 600 FTP point satellite. It's basically an 18 seat SNG winner take all. I played one the other night and came in somewhere in the top 5-6. Then tonight I tried again and once again busted out at the final table.

I checked my FTP points and saw I had just enough for two more tries. One was starting up and I jumped right in. My strategy worked and I played very well and became final table chip leader. I got uber-aggressive on them, lucko style, and slowly they all started to panic. I stole and stole and did all kinds of min-raise then re-re-raise all-ins and still got a ton of respect.

One slick move I pulled was to raise big one hand, then min-raise the next and so on. I got Aces and pulled that one again but the lucky guy didn't call my all-in. When we were down to 5 I got AK on the button and min-raised once more. BB shoves with K8 and catches an 8 on the flop. Good old 3 outer when dominated. I don't think i hate anything more:



I eventually made it to heads-up with a slight ship disadvantage. I am by no means a heads-up expert but I managed to completely confuse my opponent who eventually shoved on me with AJo, only to find my AQo waiting for him. Q on the flop gave me a huge lead and it was only a few hands later when it was all over:





So congratulations to me. I am going to play in the Poker After Dark Final on April 30th. The tournament has a 5000 player limit and I am pretty sure it will be full by then at the rate they are going. One seat goes on to play against the Donkeys After Dark. I still can't believe that Farha play. You could even see how ashamed he was in the post bust interview. Pathetic, Sammy. Seriously I am soooo disappointed.

Donkeys After Dark

You have got to be kidding me! These are world class pros? I just finished watching the episode of Donkeys After Dark on NBC (thanks you Tivo, again) where Ivey eliminates Farha. You tell me if this is not the worst weak-loose play you have ever seen:

Blinds 200/400 Ivey has Farha Covered by about 23K
Farha is SB with A9o
Ivey is CO with AQo and raises 3xBB to 1200
Farha calls 1000 everyone folds
Flop is Axx with two hearts.
Farha checks
Ivey bets 2K
Farha calls
Turn a second spade (neither has a flush draw at this point)
Farha checks-calls Ivey's 6K bet
River is a blank
Farha checks again and Ivey is all-in
Farha thinks and thinks and thinks and calls (???)
Matusow yells "great call" and Farha goes home

So what did we see here boys and girls? Call a raise against a big stack out of position with a mediocre hand and then check-call three times to go bust? No wonder people who watch poker on TV play so poorly. If this is how they learn then this explains it all....

Then tonight I played the Daily Double and had Lynette Chan at my table. I won't even discuss the fact that she didn't say a word the whole time she was there (I thought this is where you learn, play and CHAT with the pros - whatever). She got some table respect at first but then busted holding A8o against AA when she shove on a flop that gave her a gutshot draw and a possible runner runner flush. Seriously, that's awful poker:



I donked out in 330th place in A and cashed in 85th place in B. Some pretty bad plays on my part. At least I get to practice my low M strategy play.

Played CC's Bash and donked out early too. Made a very bad bluff against Ursus and got called.

Pimping CC's Thursday Bash

Since I only have $0.29 left in my RiverStars account I can't play in any more brogger games. And since CC is freerolling two lucky donkeys into the game tomorrow night I am happy to do some pimping. So all you readers out there, get on your puters and sign up for the game. The buy-in has been lowered so expect lots of donk-foolery. Here are the details:



Update: I'm in! Thank you CC for the entry fee. Waffles is the other winner. Imagine that, after what happened yesterday, both Waffles and I are in.

Da Mookie and Da Daily Double

Last night I made a point of only playing three tourneys. I was set on playing the FTP Daily Double and if I saw that I had the bandwidth for it I was going to sing up for the Mookie as well (which starts an hour later).

So how do I start off my DD last night? I run my nuts flush into a boat on the seventh hand to get down to 30 chips from the starting 2000. Incredible!



We both checked the flop and he check called my pot sized bet on the turn and my push on the river. I am such a sucker.

So then came one of the biggest comebacks I have seen (honestly). Obviously I need to find a place to push as the BB is 30 and I have no other chooice. But the hands I get are 23o, 64o, J4o, and 93o and now I am in the BB with Kh3c and I managed to pull off a miracle heart flush When the button called and made a straight - sick! So now after I lay down the SB I have two BB left in my stack and need to find a place to push again. I am on the button with AJs and the pot gets raised and called by 5 players. After an all club flop (I hold diamonds) the raiser bets out 1/5 of the pot and everyone folds. He shows AJo with the Jc and we chop. I am now up to 195. Few hands later I push again with A7s and get called by KQs to more than double up again and now have 435. Now in the BB I see A3s and once again we are 5 to the flop which is A-10-2 with two spades (my suit). I check raise and more than double up again when he calls with K-10. 990 in chips, from my low of 30.

At this point I have to go tend to KajaWife who is not feeling well and needs my help. I miss a couple of orbits but really didn't get anything playable anyway. I then chip back up with AQo in the SB against a weak player and I am back up to 1145. A few hands later I get JJ on the CO+1 and when I see a small raise and a call in front I push again. I get them both to call with AsQs and KhTh. AQ is a slight favorite and hits his Q on the flop. But then a K on the turn and a T on the river and the underdog takes it down with two pair and my stellar comeback is over:



I am still in the other game and doing quite well. I eventually make it deep and go out in 25th place out of almost 800 players when my 77 meets a KJ that hits a K on the turn:



Two things I learned:
1) I shouldn't have pushed those Jacks. A call would have kept me alive with a decent stack. Still a low M, but I could have gotten away from that hand. At the point where I shoved everyone at the table had seen me shove a few times, so I was going to get called and I did.
2) I should have folded those 7s. No need to risk my tournament with middle pair. It was a race and I lost. If I win that one I am table chip leader. People were getting desperate at this point and I should avoid these races.

I will be playing these Daily Doubles again. For sure.

So after I busted in the first one I had enough bandwidth to play the Mookie. It's always a challenge to play against these aggressive bloggers and since I haven't played much with them I am still learning what they do. Maudie was pushing me around. Hard.
I made a total donkey call against Waffles and sucked out a 2 outer on the river. Maudie raised in early position (she said she folded 10s later). I re-raised 3xMaudie's raise and Waffles pushed all-in from late position. Maudie thought about it and folded. I had a sneaking suspicion that he had Aces and was trying to isolate, or was he??? I couldn't make up my mind and figured FTP will not do this to me twice by giving me QQ and someone else AA. But they sure did and when I called and saw his rockets I figured I was done until I remembered it's Waffles and I hit my 2 outer on the river. Sorry Waffles. I really thought you were bluffing. Or was I?

Best FTP name EVER !!!

I guess this guy is kind of upset about the latest developments in online gambling restrictions. It took me a second to figure it out:

Ironman !!!!

YOUR IRON MAN LEVEL

Congratulations. You have achieved Bronze status this month and earned 25 medals for your performance so far. Play more, and you can qualify for Silver, earn even more medals and play in this Freeroll.



Whoop-de-freakin'-doo. I did it. Now the question is: Should I go for the silver? The freeroll is a little bigger and I am sure it will have less players in it. Does anyone out there know if I get the silver status do I get to play both freerolls like they do at Stars? I don't think so. Still might be worth a shot. The really good news is that today I was able to play only two tables and profit more than a my usual buy-in of $50 at this $1/$2 level. I think that's pretty good. I played very tight too. I had another screen up and wasn't able to play many hands so I only played the monsters. I guess that works.

Two more things happened along the way. The first is that finally my PT icon has changed from Taz (maniac) to The Bomb (Slightly Loose Aggressive Solid). I like that. The second thing is that I am an overall winner for the month at the $1/$2 level. I played exactly 5000 hands (how odd?) at this limit and made $126.25 before rakeback. I would have been ahead a lot more if it had not been for those awful $2/$4 sessions. I learned my lesson and will stay away until my bankroll can handle it.

My last hand was especially sweet:

10s are golden

I need one more 50 FTP point day to get my Bronze Ironman for January. I hope I don't bust before that happens. The donkeys are out to get me with their river 2 outers. I played three tables yesterday and after about 2 hours got unstuck and broke even. At one point I was down to $4.5 on one table and got now action on my quads:



Then a couple of hands later on another table I get my 10s and flop the nut boat:



The quads got no action, but I managed to get paid off on the boat which was nice. As I said I eventually broke even for the session. I just need to play tighter and figure out a way to lose less when the drawing donkeys river me.

2 quads in 4 hands

Playing $1/$2 LHE on FTP we got 2 hands with quads within 4 deals:

Dealer: Mr_Sinister wins the pot ($16.50) with four of
a kind, Nines
Dealer: Hand #1489185717
Kajagugu: nh
Mr_Sinister: ty
Dealer: Kajagugu wins the pot ($3.35)
Dealer: Hand #1489189537
Dealer: walks3000 wins the pot ($4.30)
Dealer: Hand #1489194231
Dealer: Kajagugu shows four of a kind, Twos
Dealer: Kajagugu wins the pot ($12.25) with four of a
kind, Twos
Dealer: Hand #1489199508
Kajagugu: my turn
Mr_Sinister: nh
Kajagugu: ty
Mr_Sinister: lol
Kajagugu: two quads in one orbit
Kajagugu: not bad FTP

Solitaire SNG

You got to hand it to some people. I was in a SNG the other night and when we were on the bubble and had the short stack all-in against three callers, one guy decided to put in a bet on the river with a losing hand to keep the shorty in the game. Hilarity ensued:

flyersfan1: LOL
Kajagugu: lol
Kajagugu: that was sick
flyersfan1: what a joke
Golfstar1: i had 10s that last hand
dwDWOODdw: YOU COULDNT CHECK IT DOWN?!?!?!?
Kajagugu: smart move there
dwDWOODdw: real slick DIVE
dwDWOODdw: on a pair of NINES
Kajagugu: i bet Cindy busts you later on
dwDWOODdw: IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD
ride2dive: sry was not thinking playing solitaire
Kajagugu: lol
ride2dive: you are a little hard on an old sucke dwood
ride2dive: ;)
ride2dive: sucker*
dwDWOODdw: WELL GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME
dwDWOODdw: CHRIST
ride2dive: see what i mean lol
Kajagugu: can any one say over re action?
ride2dive: yelling and everything
ride2dive: yes tyvm

Could of, Would of, Should of (???)

Am I the only one who sees this EVERYWHERE? What the fuck kind of education system lets total morons out on the streets without making sure they know to use HAVE instead of OF? English is not even my first language and I still can't figure this shit out. This has to be up there at the top of my grammar pet peeve list along with you're vs your and it's vs its. I should of raised it..... I could of gone there..... Your an idiot... Its amazing....

I truly can't stand it. I am making it my quest to verbally flog these buffoons from now on every time I see this happen. So just to make sure everyone reading this knows (yes all 4 of you):

Could have, would have, should have.
You're means You Are.
If you can't figure out it's from its just try to say "it is" and see if it works or not. It's that simple, see?

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

KajaWife has been letting me play every night lately and I am making the most of it. I tried the FTP Daily Double last night and went out on the first hand like a total donkey. My AQs hit a Q high board with two spades (my suit) and it was all in on the flop only to lose to pocket Kings. Doh! I did better in the other game but couldn't cash.

I then tried to get into the Poker After Dark freerolls.



I think the hardest part about these freerolls is actually managing to register for them. FTP is running a 180 SNG that sees 2 players advance to the weekly feeder and a 360 SNG where only the winner advances. How does this make any sense? You have to beat twice as many people for half the number of seats? I don't get it but, whatever. As I said the hardest thing is registering to play in one of these. They open up every 10 minutes and fill up before you can open the tournament lobby and register. Does anyone out there have any idea how to make this process easier? Here's what I figured out:

1) Open up the SNG satellite view and sort by number of players. Make sure Running and Completed games are not showing.
2) Look at the server clock and wait for the SNG start time to come up (about every 5 minutes alternating between the 180 and 360).
3) Figure out where the register button will show up when you open the tournament lobby (it tends to change position based on how your screen is set up and how many other FTP windows you have open).
4) Put your fingers over the up arrow, Enter key and space bar.
5) As soon as you see the SNG show up click the up arrow to highlight it and hit the Enter key. Then click your mouse button when the lobby opens up, hit the space bar and the Enter key again.

Phew. That's ridiculous. I only managed to get into the 360 games this way. The 180 would be full by the time I got this sequence to work.

Once in get ready for an insane push-fest for the first hour. We were down to half the players without me even putting in a single blind in one game. There is no strategy here and you eventually need to pick the best hand you get and hope to quadruple up.

I managed to final table one of these suckers and had a nice chip lead. I knew I would still need to get lucky and play smart. I managed to pull of a massive bluff from early position against a good player who had me covered right before we got to the final table:



Full Tilt Poker Game #1663031100: Poker After Dark Round 1 (12177312), Table 18 - 800/1600 - No Limit Hold'em - 23:51:59 ET - 2007/01/23
Seat 1: guilty11 (43,555)
Seat 3: Joeybird5 (56,040)
Seat 5: Door1986 (12,633)
Seat 6: cannonball414 (5,500), is sitting out
Seat 7: cdmaster1 (45,205)
Seat 8: diesel3313 (20,995)
Seat 9: Kajagugu (54,439)
diesel3313 posts the small blind of 800
Kajagugu posts the big blind of 1,600
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kajagugu [9c 6d]
Joeybird5: nh
guilty11 calls 1,600
guilty11: ty
Joeybird5 calls 1,600
Door1986 folds
cannonball414 folds
cdmaster1 folds
diesel3313 calls 800
Kajagugu checks
*** FLOP *** [Qc 5c 2c]
diesel3313 checks
Joeybird5: i'm blowing my chips off
diesel3313: me too
Kajagugu has 15 seconds left to act
Kajagugu checks
guilty11 checks
Joeybird5 bets 1,600
diesel3313: get good starting hands...and can't catch anthing
diesel3313 calls 1,600
Kajagugu raises to 5,200
guilty11 folds
Joeybird5 calls 3,600
diesel3313 folds
*** TURN *** [Qc 5c 2c] [7s]
Kajagugu bets 8,600
Joeybird5: lol
Joeybird5 calls 8,600
*** RIVER *** [Qc 5c 2c 7s] [Ah]
Kajagugu bets 16,000
Joeybird5 folds
Uncalled bet of 16,000 returned to Kajagugu
Kajagugu shows [9c 6d] (Ace Queen high)
Kajagugu wins the pot (35,600)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 35,600 | Rake 0
Board: [Qc 5c 2c 7s Ah]
Seat 1: guilty11 folded on the Flop
Seat 3: Joeybird5 folded on the River
Seat 5: Door1986 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: cannonball414 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: cdmaster1 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: diesel3313 (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 9: Kajagugu (big blind) collected (35,600)

On the first hand of the final table I managed to take the chip lead:



Full Tilt Poker Game #1663179462: Poker After Dark Round 1 (12177312), Table 18 - 1500/3000 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:14:28 ET - 2007/01/24
Seat 1: guilty11 (62,710)
Seat 2: chrimiller (47,684)
Seat 3: Joeybird5 (62,240)
Seat 4: spencerclay (14,792)
Seat 5: BiggFoster (66,192)
Seat 6: OKGuy (23,385)
Seat 7: cdmaster1 (47,383)
Seat 8: SumBeach (143,580)
Seat 9: Kajagugu (72,034)
guilty11 posts the small blind of 1,500
chrimiller posts the big blind of 3,000
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kajagugu [Kh 3h]
Joeybird5 folds
spencerclay folds
BiggFoster folds
OKGuy folds
cdmaster1 folds
spencerclay: congrads to the final table
SumBeach calls 3,000
Kajagugu calls 3,000
guilty11: gl ev1
guilty11 raises to 6,000
chrimiller folds
SumBeach calls 3,000
Kajagugu calls 3,000
*** FLOP *** [8h Qh Ad]
guilty11 bets 3,000
cdmaster1: ty u2
SumBeach raises to 6,000
Kajagugu calls 6,000
guilty11 folds
*** TURN *** [8h Qh Ad] [4d]
SumBeach bets 9,000
Kajagugu calls 9,000
*** RIVER *** [8h Qh Ad 4d] [7h]
SumBeach checks
Kajagugu bets 30,000
guilty11: ty
SumBeach calls 30,000
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Kajagugu shows [Kh 3h] (a flush, King high)
SumBeach mucks
Kajagugu wins the pot (114,000) with a flush, King high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 114,000 | Rake 0
Board: [8h Qh Ad 4d 7h]
Seat 1: guilty11 (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: chrimiller (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: Joeybird5 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: spencerclay didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: BiggFoster didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: OKGuy didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: cdmaster1 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: SumBeach mucked [As 5h] - a pair of Aces
Seat 9: Kajagugu (button) showed [Kh 3h] and won (114,000) with a flush, King high

But it was not to be. A little later I raised it 3.5xBB from UTG with QQ and the BB shoved with a bigger stack. I thought about it for a moment and called only to see his AA and IGH in 6th place. Still 6th out of 360 is not a bad result but pays the same as 360th place. These games are so loose that at one point the table VP$IP was over 75%.

A much more reasonable method to get in is to play the 18 seat SNG for 600 FTP points that feeds right into the final in April. I played one of those as well but couldn't take it down. I think I will play a couple more of these and try to get that seat.

I'm NOT Lovin' it

These is seriously disturbing. I can't believe they did it. F U Mickey D!

Billy Zabka is Awesome!

I almost peed myself watching this video. I can't believe they got Zabka and Machio to play along. As you can see by a few recent posts, I am seriously bored.

Gender Bender

This is just too funny/weird/scary to not pass along: Worth1000.com | Photoshop Contests | Are you Worthy™ | contest.

And here is an example:

Tourney Cash

So last night I was going to play some of the regular tournaments where I usually just donk off my LHE wins. But something else happened. While in the regular tournaments I didn't get off to a great start, I managed to cash in two that I usually don't play. Let's see this in order:

1) I started off with the .25 (yes that is a quarter) buy-in at RiverStars. Since I have no way to deposit any money there (or anywhere else for that matter) I am playing the nightly .25 with $100 added (thank you so much PS!) just to get through my last 79 cents. I usually don't do well in this donkfest. I have 29 cents left so after that the only other action they're getting is if they do any more FPP series.

2) I have some money left on DreamPoker from the challenge I set for myself but never went through with. I played a $25 buy in that has a good structure and managed to take the chip lead by playing very solid for about an hour. Then I ran JJ into AK short stack and lost, JJ into 44 short stack who made a set on the flop, and with a very low M and crazy blinds got knocked out 8 spots out of the money. Damn.

3) I played the 25K on Flush Tilt Poker and lost a bunch of my chips on the first hand when my set lost to a rivered flush (seriously this is annoying).

4) I played the 300 FTP points 6-handed token donkfest and can't even remember what happened there.

5) I got into a Poker Dome $22 satellite (2 seats guaranteed to the final) with only 15 players and was well in the lead when I lost a couple of coin flips to short stacks and then when we were 6 handed, and with an M of 4 I pushed with AQ only to get called by two other shorties and the chip leader. So we see all turn over our cards and we have my AQ vs AK vs KQ vs JJ (chip leader). Jacks take it down and leave the table with 3 players, a massive chip leader and two seats to the final. Doh!

At this point I was getting tired and a little frustrated. I have been playing well and I think my major leak is not being able to lay down pocket pairs when I am the chip leader and get a push from a shorty. So....

6) I got into a 90 player $10 buy-in Deep Stack SNG on FTP. I have been playing these donkfests lately and I really love the deep stack format. The only thing I don't understand is why the $10 pays 18 spots and the $20 only pays 9. This was the second time in a week that I saw the following action with three all-ins pre-flop:



This time for a change the Aces took it down although he really didn't deserve to. When the QQ pushed, the AA only called and only after KK pushed behind him did he call. I always think it is a serious mistake to let someone else in when you already have an all-in when you're holding Aces. But I guess it worked out for this guy.

I won my first race with QQ against AK:



But then I made a mistake that almost cost me the tournament. The table had been very aggressive with two guys raising each other all in almost every other hand. I was sitting right between them and got dealt pocket AA UTG. I decided to limp and let them do the betting but instead they just called (crap!). After a flop of Q-J-8 with two spades the BB checked to me and I had to make a big bet. I bet a little more than the size of the pot and got called by the MP player. Then the BB pushes his huge stack and I am left with a big dilemma. I had seen him play any two cards but put him on a flush draw. The MP player was a true donk and I didn't put him on anything. So I called and MP calls too??? WTF? What did I just get myself into? BB flips over Q-8 suited for two pair, MP shows his 7-4 of spades for the draw and I need the board to pair (other than Q or 8 or a spade) or hit my miracle 1-outer. Let's count these outs: 2 Jacks (can't count the spade) and 1 lovely red Ace (can't count the spade which was unfortunately not in my hand). I am not even going to count the the runner runner pairs or K-T combinations. Let's see what PokerStove says:



I was obviously ahead pre-flop and I should not have limped UTG. That was the first mistake.



I was a HUGE underdog after the flop and I should not have called the BB's push. Second
mistake.



I was even further behind on the turn but at this point I couldn't do much. But miracles do happen:



I hit my red Ace on the river and took down a massive pot and the chip lead whic I kept all the way till we burst the money bubble:



I made the final table but made a few mistakes along the way (like calling a short stack push with a small pocket pair) and eventually fizzled in 9th. Still, it's way better than I have been doing up until now in these 90 seater SNGs and making a final table was a mini-goal I had set for myself. No big cash but at least I doubled my buy-in:



7) While all this was going on I decided to try my luck at the insane game of PLO8. A 3K gurantee was starting up and looked like we were going to get a little bit of an overlay. One hand into the game I noticed that once again, I had bought into a LIMIT O8 tournament. I hate when that happens but figured what the heck, let's see how I do.

Now I am by no means an Omaha player. My only reference is Josh Arieh winning a WSOP bracelet while playing like a complete maniac. And since this was limit and deep stack I figured manic is the way to go. I started out badly losing several pots. But somewhere along the way I hit a mad rush of cards. Anything I played was going to win. Here are a few screenshots just to show you the awful starting hands I played:







The more chips I got, the more aggressive I got. I was raising every hand and if you didn't want to get raised you had to get out of the way. I quickly took the chip lead and got to a point where I was more than double the next player behind me:



But since I don't know how to play with a big stack and a massive lead and I have no idea what I am doing in O8 and the blinds were getting really high and I ran into another uber-aggro big stack I eventually went out in 13th place. It's a shame really because with a little more control I could have placed much, much higher:



I have to say though that looking at two tournaments and seeing that I was the chip leader in both by a big margin was a lot of fun. I learned a lot, especially in the O8 game and had a blast. I highly reccomend it.

More stupid crap

I wonder how many poker pros (???) own one of these?



And how cool of an idea is having a PC as a wall jack?



These three morons got caught cheating at poker in the UK:

"The Superbowl Is GAY"

I love this kid!



And this kid even more!



This guy is an inspiration!



This guy is weird!

Strange Routine and Hoyazo Dedicated Section

I've been getting in the habit of playing a few MTTs, making a couple of dumb moves, getting knocked out and going back to the LHE tables to make back all the entry fees I had just lost. This is a bit of a grind and I don't think that under the current conditions (no more fish or new players) I can maintain this behavior. I really need to get my butt in gear and start winning (or at least cashing) some of these MTTs. It's not that I am incapable, I've done this several times in the past, but I need to eliminate the donkey moves I have been displaying lately. I haven't seen too many suckouts lately, it's more of just seriously bad play on my part.

Anyway, I have a couple of screenshots dedicated to the great hoyazo:

1) The first is in response to his awful beat with AA on the third hand of his biggest buy-in on PokerStars, after which he had an uber-rant and decided to quit that shit site. This was no major buy-in, but had similar results. The player 2 seats off the button raised 3.5xBB and was reraised about 10xBB which he called. This is what happened after the flop:



So not Aces but another flopped nut straight with a crap hand that called a big re-raise from the button. It happens all the time. On every site.

2) The second dedication is for playing the hammer and taking down a huge pot from an idiot that sucked out a flush on me when I held Aces a few hands earlier. I knew he was a drawing donkey and I had him square in my sites (the BB was a total idiot and I knew he was just giving away his money):

F U Neteller!

Bill Rini just cracks me up!!!

Just go check out this awesome YouTube video he found about a poor customer service exerience some angry guy had with Neteller.

Too funny!

Flush Tilt

This can't be mathematically possible. I see more flush flop and 4 flushes on Full Tilt Poker than anywhere else and probably more than is statistically possible. Coupled with the fact that it is packed with donkeys who will call any sized raise with any two suited cards and you have the makings of some serious Flush Tilt.

I played a few tourneys there today and at some point I was on such severe tilt that I just went all-in with all the open windows just so that the suffering will be over. I then went on to the oh-so loose $1/$2 game and lost a buy in on one table while doubling up on two others.

A flush flop has a 5.2% chance of happening so I guess one in every 20 flops? But flopping a flush should happen .84% of time or about once in 120 flops. I am going to try to figure out how to extract these stats from my FTP sessions to see if it matches.

Big Game Blunders

I am still mad at myself. It took me about an hour to fall asleep trying to figure out what was going through my head when I made that donkerific call heads-up in MiamiDon's Big Game last night.

Let's start with some background. I have been trying to get Ironman status on Full Tilt Poker this month. This is something I have not tried in the past, basically because I can't put enough time into chasing the required points. But for some reason I have abandoned my other challenges and decided to try this. I've been playing limit hold'em $1/$2 and doing quite well when I stupidly decided to switch to $2/$4 and went on a seriously bad streak. I wish I had time to go over my Poker Tracker DB to see how many flushes win on Flush Tilt Poker, but I can guesstimate that it is a lot. More than normal distribution for sure.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I found myself on the brink of elimination. I went back down to $1/$2 and tried to recollect myself. I actually started making up some ground but then decided to play the FTOPS #3 $75 satellite and the nightly $25K (both in which I played soooo poorly and busted out). At least I outlasted two time bracelet winner E-Fro. Whatever.

Coming into Sunday I had a total of $100 left in my account. I wanted to play in the Don's Big Game but was not sure I wanted to put all my money into one game. I decided to see how my limit luck was running and opened up two tables of $1/$2 with $50 on each. Very quickly I was down in the dumps. Just brutal beats. BB vs SB - QQ vs KK, both making sets on the flop, etc. On one table I was down to $4 and the other down to about $30, so it was not looking very promising for the Big Game. I then decided to hunker down and tighten up and see what I can salvage. This is how the session looked:



I actually went from $4 to $58 on one table and to about break-even on the other. Just in time for the game. I saw there were about 17 people signed up and top 3 paid out and decided to try my luck against a small field of tough players. There is no other way to get better than to test your skills against the best. We ended up with a field of 19 with some of my heroes in the field (hoyazo, lucko, SNG Machine, etc.) - some of these guys have HUGE cashes in the recent past.

I played so tight it hurt. The whole table was super tight and there was not a lot of action, even with the double stacks. I managed to lose some chips to mad aggression from CC and his new partner Katitude. I was leaking chips and needed to make a stand. I got 99 in the cut-off and TripJax had raised 2.5xBB in front of me. I decided to put in a serious raise to 360. Trip re-raised me to 540 and at this point I figured I was behind, but called because of the implied odds and since I already had about 1/4 of my stack in the pot. The flop was Q88 and after about a split second TripJax went all in for his remaining 1540. I had about 5 chips more and thought about it for a few moments. If he has an 8 or a Q he does not shove. If he has an overpair he does not shove. So I'm thinking he has none of the following hands: AA, KK, QQ, JJ, TT, AQ, KQ, QJ, A8. My best guess was that he had AK and try to muscle me out, so I called and indeed he had AK and my 99 held up to take it down and knock out the first player from the tournament.

The table broke up and we got seated in two tables. This was another tough table and CC was just murdering me (and the others) with his all-in or fold technique (not sure this qualifies as a technique, but since it worked I guess I will call it that). He got himself in trouble and was pretty shortstacked when he pushed with KQ vs AK and got his Q on the flop.

I was able to chip up with some positional aggression and took the chip lead. From this point I was never below the top 4 in chips. Don and CC tangled in a big hand where CC made a set of Qs on the river and Don had a flush with 54 suited. I stayed out of the way most of the time until I got in a battle of the blinds with Don that turned into this:



I made it to the final table 3rd in chips behind Don and lucko. Hoyazo and CC where close behind, so I figured this is going to be a very aggressive table. I had lucko to my right and hoy to my left and I was going to take my time and not make any stupid mistakes. When we were down to 4 in the second break we brokered a deal where 4th gets his buy-in back (50%, 30%, 20 from the top 3). This made everyone happy, especially me since I was the short stack. I displayed some bravado and said it didn't matter since I am taking the whole thing down anyway. Soon after that hoyazo was eliminated by CC when the got it all-in pre-flop with K9 vs AK. I was surprised that hoyazo made that move but happy to be in the money. Don was getting upset about the all-in pre-flop action that was going on and wanted to play some real poker. I agreed with Don about the push-monkey plays, but I had to hit back at CC at some point. I soon had my chance.

The first hand we battled was my 10s vs his 6s which I won. The second hand was even better. I went in with AQs vs his KQo (I remembered he likes this hand but I had the Q covered this time) and doubled up. We were all pretty close in chips and decided to chop so that we each got $400 and played for the extra $111. Then I got my chance to knock CC out. I got 22 in the SB with the blinds at 500/1000/125 and raised to 3500 and CC called. I flopped a boat with 2s full of Ks and checked the flop. He checked behind me and I was really hoping he got a piece of it and was trying to trap me. The turn was a Jd putting two diamonds on the board and I checked again. My only fear was that CC was playing what others said is his favorite hand KJ and I was toast, but I figure he would have re-raised me pre-flop with that hand. He made a small bet of about a 1/5 of the pot and I called. The river was a harmless 4 and I went ahead and bet 6K into the 10K pot hoping for a call. Instead he pushed and I insta-called. He showed KT and I since I had him covered I got to knock him out and take a 2-1 chip lead heads up with Don.



This is where the blunders started. I started out solid and was able to chip up and take an almost 3-1 lead but I'm not sure what was going on in my head when I made one of the dumbest plays in my short poker career. The blinds were still 500/1000 and holding 72s I got raised to 3000 and decided to put in a big re-raise to 9000. Don thought for a second and pushed for a total of 20K. I was getting 3-1 to call and 2-1 to win and take it down and I decided to call. MISTAKE!!! I should not have even been in the hand to begin with. Next hand I managed to double up when Don went after a diamond draw and I had made a middle pair on the flop. I was back in the lead.

The next mistake was when Don called on the button and I had AhKs. I raised and he called. The flop was 97Q with two spades and I bet about 2/3 of the pot and Don re-raised me double my bet. This is where I should have given up on the hand, but once again for no apparent reason I called. I should have noticed that Don was pretty much pot committed at that point so that should have been an easy fold right there. The turn was a 3 and Don went all-in, I called and he showed a beautifully played pair of Aces. I was crushed and other than one lucky double up that was it. The final hand I raised with A5o and got re-raised. I called and saw his Jacks and that was that:





So, to sum it up - 2 big mistakes cost me the top spot. Don played very well and I especially liked that slowplay with the Aces. I ended up taking 2nd for a second time in a row playing in the Big Game (which is now a monthly event). The first time I played I took second to lucko. Out of 257 hands I never once got AA, KK or JJ. I did manage to get two QQ and a few AK and AQ hands but did not make any money on them. I won the most chips with T9o which I got two times when we were down to three players. One was a big bluff against CC and the other was Don's missed flush draw heads-up.

I had a blast and I want to thank MiamiDon again for setting this game up. I know I have a lot to learn but I feel that playing with these guys I get to see a lot of moves and plays I probably won't see in the massive donkfests on PS and FTP.

I'm smart

Try this.

I guess I'm smart:

Quick updates

Home Game: Took second again in the monthly. Played some serious short stack to get to heads up and get busted by a river 2-outer. Live poker is soooooo rigged. I have Ad5d in the BB and my opponent min-raises me. I think about it for a second and push. He calls and shows 3-3. Flop has 2 diamonds. Turn is a 5, so now I am ahead. River is a 3 (not a diamond). I take second place again. When will I take one of these down? Second game was a bore and I lost a race with AQs vs 66.

Donkey Draws: I have decided to try to get an Ironman on FTP this month. Not sure what made me make this decision. So I am now playing 4 tables of 1/2 limit and holding my own. The level of donkey draws is just unbelievable and I have resorted to playing my most aggresive form of poker to date. There are rarely any preflop calls on my part at this point. I take my share of hits but I have also been able to dish them out.

I have to show these two:




Don't you just love holding Quads and getting someone to bet into you?

You got 7 out of 20 correct

I guess I don't know my sex scandals of the year.

The jump to $10

Couldn't fall asleep and KajaWife was getting annoyed by my reading light (got the Jan edition of Bluff Magazine and had to read a little). So I went downstairs and decided to get on with my challenge. Played 7, won 1 and came 2nd in another. I wish I knew how to mine tracker better to find out how many flopped boats I have seen this past weekend. It is seriously sick. Anyway, my stats for the "new" challenge so far:

ITM 28.57%
ROI -6.49%

Which means I played for about 3+ hours (2 tabling) and lost $5. Awesome.

The best part of the night? Hearing KajaBaby talking in her sleep. No wonder I constantly wake up from this monitor near my bed. She blurts out something every 10-20 minutes. The best one was when I just became the chip leader after being the short stack - she says "Up and Down". I almost peed my pants...

And just so I can leave you with one screenshot, here is the hand that beat my Aces when this numb-nuts pushes all in from the SB against my raise with Aces (I was happy to see the almost same thing happen to him on the other table):

My own advice

Why don't I listen to my own advice? I said I should not play when there might be some distractions, right? SO what do I do but try to play while KajaBaby is supposed to be napping and I know a furniture delivery might be coming. So I left 4 tables to deal with the delivery and ended up in 4th in all but one. Then the baby decided to take off her diaper and pee all over her bed. So I just pushed all my chips while we were 4 handed and in two hands I was out. Awesome.

That last one was a painful game to play. The table was so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up its ass you would get a diamond at the end. We played for 50 minutes and there were still seven players. Half the hands were won by the big blind with no action at all. The other half were won by min-raises. Awful, weak-tight poker. When I figured out what was going on I quickly stole as many blinds as possible. TO the point where every hand on the button or in the cut-off or one off the CO I would raise 3xBB and take it down. Three orbits in a row! I guess I could have just gone to get the baby at that point and made the money but I was so frustrated that I just gave it away.

So my $5 SNG challenge is over. And I am a failure. I played 63 SNGs and lost $54. I am down to $111 in my account and I am moving up in stakes. I am starting a new $10 SNG challenge. And I am only playing when I have time and no distractions. Let's see how that works. Worse case, I lose ten in a row and I am done with RiverStars (maybe).

4-tabling SNGs

I tried to take a page out of the SNGmachine book and fired up 4 (not quite 12 but still nice) simultaneuos SNGs.



I guess it was Super Suckout Sunday on Riverstars yesterday because the carnage was everywhere. Not just me, but people were hitting one outers and runner runners like they deserved it. I managed to lose 6 in a row especially after KajaBaby woke up from her nap. I brought her downstairs to finish off the last two tables and had her call out the letters, numbers and colors of the cards which she enjoyed immensly. I then did the super suckout thing myself and got a 1st and 2nd in the last two games. Here's a good idea of how the deck was hitting some people (I still won that one even though I got clobbered):



My stats suffered though. I am down to only 31.48% ITM and -1.52% ROI so I need to start taking more of these down. And I have to find spots where I am not pressed for time either. Can't play well under external pressures...