I am such a geek

I love these Mac vs PC commercials. Someone compiled 15 of them in one movie. These don't include the new Vista ones but there were still some surprises. One before last is probably my favorite. Enjoy!

Phase 1 Donkey Challenge - Complete

It only took me 22 games but I eventually got a 7/10 ITM streak to complete phase 1 and go up from $5 to $10 games. I actually started my 23rd game and came in 7th in it, but it is still 7/10 so I am still good to go. I will post my stats for all 23 games because that's just fair:



I think the ITM and ROI are pretty decent. I effectively doubled my moeny (if you don't subtract the $6+.50 that I put into the Token Frenzy tournament. Let's see how I did as far as finishes:

1st - 4/23 - 17.4%
2nd - 3/23 - 13%
3rd - 5/23 - 21.7%
4th - 1/23 - 4.3%
5th - 2/23 - 8.7%
6th - 1/23 - 4.3%
7th - 1/23 - 4.3%
8th - 0/23 - 0%
9th - 6/23 - 26.1%

As you can see I placed 9th more times than any other place. Is that sick or what?

Ok, so here is the obligatory screenshot dump. Let's see what we have here.

I hit quads twice, once with presto:




In this hand I made the mistake of limping on the button with JTo and giving the BB the chance to bust me. He slow played his flopped set and check-called my first bullet. He then slow played his boat on the turn and check-called my second bullet. He then checked his rivered quads to me and I was already readying my third bullet when I realized that I may be in a lot of trouble. Too many hands will call my bluff and so I just checked and saw the horror. Poor play by me, but I lived to go on and money in this game:



One game I played had an unbelievable amount of push monkeys and we were actually in the money in 21 hands. I shit you not. I made a big laydown (for me at least) when holding Jacks from CO+1 after two limpers called the BB. I made a 4xBB raise and got re-raised by UTG all-in AND then an all-in call from the player to my right. I sat there in shock and was certain that at least one of these donkeys was ahead of me. It had to be. I decided to make my huge laydown and to my amazement the original UTG push monkey has QTo and the idiot caller has K7s. All-in boy UTG makes top two pair on the flop, but crazy caller makes a runner runner set of 7s. I would have lost to both these idiots. So good laydown I guess. Thank you push monkeys for that valuable lesson:



I managed to dodge some bullets (while ahead) when I shoved my short stack and flopped the nut spade flush. To my astonishment my opponent who called with JTo made top two on the same flop but did not make a boat (like I am used to):



Here, once again, I managed to dodge the club flush (which is usually the 100% calling draw at Flush Tilt) to bust another player:



And once again I managed to slow play Aces and got my opponent who was big stack at the time to push all-in with only top pair on the flop:



I have about an hour to sleep before I have to wake up and head out to the airport. This is going to be a long travel day and at least I got upgraded on my Paris to ATL leg of this trip.

One more interesting note. TV here is quite pathetic. Like most of non-English speaking Europe they dub almost everything (including the Comedy Channel). I watched CNBC Europe for a bit and then to my surprise they ran the Tongight Show and then Conan. After Brian William's Nightly News the real surprise arrived.

Turns out they carry Poker TV and show all kinds of tournaments. The first night it was some British Poker Open Full Tilt Shootout. It was a 6 handed SNG with Mike Matusow, Kristy Gazes and Clonie Gowen playing against 3 online qualifiers. The two ladies were gone first with some seriously horrific play. It was quite boring and I fell asleep after seeing Matusow bluff like a mad man.

The next night was even weaker. They showed a few online tournaments from PokerHeaven.com with some live commentary. Apparently they are running some "around the world" freeroll. The players are awful and the poor commentators didn't know what to say in some cases. The recurring comment was "....and, oh no, he hit his card on the river!". If anyone reading this is outside the US I would implore you to head right over to PokerHeaven and take advantage of these soft freerolls. You owe it to yourself. And then send me a postcard from every city you go to on your trip around the world.

Close, oh so so close.

I am now 6/10 ITM in my SNG donkey challenge. Problem is that I am now losing my previous ITM places as I add new games. So in order to move up I need to place ITM in the next 4 straight. As previously stated, I either finish first or last. And if I finish last it's because Flush Tilt is just awful:



If you have seen more flush flops, rivered flushes and four flushes on Flush Tilt Poker than on any other site, please leave a comment. I am starting to think I am the only one who is going through this twilight zone.

So out in 9th again. But then I went on a mad rush and finished first in the next two. In one of them I didn't even have to play heads up! Check it out yo:



Twice I flopped the nut straight and did not get counterfeited. First time was a few hands into the first game. Quick double up and then play nice and tight:



Next one was on the bubble of the second game where I almost busted the big stack when I cracked his Aces. He was gone on the next hand:



Next memorable hand was a very well slow played AA from the BB to bust a shorty in third: After this hand he asked me why I slow played it, to which I replied that I wanted to make sure he was done and didn't want to scare him away. I think I played it perfectly so I guess it was a weird question:



Then when we were heads up my opponent decided to play all-in or fold poker. I laid down a couple of decent hands and then, while I was still in the lead I lost my network AGAIN! I was sure this guy would min-raise me to death while I was trying to reconnect. I only lost about 400 chips and when I came back I saw another min-raise in progress. I quickly sat back down and called. He checked the flop and when I bet out he pushed. I figured I was probably ahead and he was on some heart flush draw and this was going to end badly again. It ended badly all right, for him:



I am going to try some more of these. Wish me luck, people.

Ich bin ein Berliner

JFK proclaimed he is a donut in his famous speech. You see "ein Berliner" is a piece of pastry. It's as if he said "I am Frankfurter" if he was in Frankfurt or "I am a Hamburger" if he was in Hamburg.

So Berlin is quite a strange city. I must admit that being in East Berlin feels a little surreal but once you get over it you don't really notice the difference. It is actually quite beautiful and grand. Brandenburg Gate is very impressive as are some of the other buildings on this main street.

I ate a full German dinner which included Potato Stew, Bratwurst with Pineapple Sauerkraut and Apple Strudel. I had some Berliner Lager to go with dinner and was quite full at the end. Not sure this is my favorite cuisine, but it does have a nice comfort food feel to it.

What is absolutely unbearably awful is the cigarette smoke. These idiots smoke all the time everywhere. Right in your face. My throat is burning from the roof of my mouth and down to my esophagus. Indoors, outdoors, restaurants, hotel lobbies, you name it, there's going to be someone smoking it up right in your face. The stats say only 25% of the population smokes but I doubt it. No wonder everyone has bad brown teeth and awful skin. Imagine Ray Liotta with a George Hamilton fake tan, Kabuki make-up and Price Charles teeth and you have an idea of what a German woman looks like here.

And they have no poker. You can only gamble in a casino and there are no poker clubs. I made the concierge call all the casinos in town and none of them have poker. One might have a table open on Friday.

And they have awful internet connectivity. The poker sites I tried to connect to keep timing out and re-connecting every 5 minutes. Not that it would help me much since Flush Tilt is still living up to its name and delivers a flush blow to the junk every time. I love making the right play and having some fonkey hit his flush. Every. Single. Time.

I was actually playing 4 SNGs at once last night and either came in first (twice) or got eliminated first (twice). I did make some money and tried my luck at the Token Madness tourney that pays a guaranteed 20 $24 tokens. I got disconnected once after flopping a set of sixes. At list I didn't lose the hand as the other two idiots checked it down. Hallelujah! I might give it a go again today. We'll see how the network connection holds up. I am only 6/15 ITM so far in my donkey challenge so I have a long way to go before I go up a level. Long, long way to go. Hey, at least I am not broke yet, right?

And WTF is up with Google and Blogger going all German on my ass? I love the fact that there is no way to turn English back on. How would you like to see this:


Isn't that a hoot? More later.

Going to Berlin

Anybody know a good place to play poker in Berlin? Germany that is.
Or anything else that is fun to do there?

Donkeys After Dark - Part Three

I really think I am done with this show.

Blinds are 150/300.
Gowen finally gets a hand (she barely played any until now) and raises with AA from the button to 900.
Gus folds and Tony G calls with Q6o from the BB. Let it go donkey!
Queen on the flop. King on the the turn. River is a blank.
Tony check calls on all streets and eventually calls Gowen's all-in on the river with Q6o!!! Are you fucking kidding me? Awful awful awful.

A few hands later he gets most of it back when he check calls AJo vs Gowen's J9s on all streets when she fires three big bullets at him. Are you serious Gowen? You won one pot and now you are the bluff king?

I am seriously thinking of dropping this show from my Tivo To Do list. Good thing the next two weeks are re-runs.

Pathetic.

And since nobody commented on part Deux I guess nobody actually watches this show or reads this here brog.

Live blogging test

Playing a $5 SNG as part of my donkey challenge and trying to live blog it.

2nd hand - KK UTG raise to 75 and get no action. Bummer.
Seems like a tight table - lots of min raises taking down the pots.

5th hand SB (not me) with 84o flopped a boat and got little action.

8th hand we lost two players. QQ vs 77 vs A7. QQ made an unnecessary boat on the river.

10th hand I get KK again in the BB. CO raises to 201 and I push. He folds. I bet he had AK or AQ.

11th hand we lose another player when he plays AJ TPTK against a made set of 7s on the flop.
I thought this would be a tight game, LOL. I am 4th of 6th remaining.

16th hand I am in the BB with 97o. Flop with two spades and a 9 and nobody bets. I bet the turn and get one caller. RIver gives me my straight and I don't get any callers.

18th hand I steal from the button with JTo.

20th hand I get KK again (3 times in 20 hands) and min raise from the CO. BB calls and the flop comes AQ5 with two spades. BB check and I bet the pot and take it down.

21st hand CO with KK vs button with AK. Ace on the flop.

22nd-23rd hands I steal my blinds with junk. I am 3rd out of 6. I haven't shown down a single hand yet.

26th hand I get the hammer CO+1 but don't play it. Wimp.

27th hand I get the hammer again, this time UTG and muck it. What a wimp! BB made quad 10s and I would have lost with 7s full. Good fold then.

28th hand, battle of the blinds I lose to SB after he hits the flop and I miss a gutshot. Bad play by me. Should have bet the river instead of checking.

29th I bluff the BB out of a nice pot with a gutshot. I am 3 of 5 remaining.

37th hand AK UTG. I raise to 200 and get one caller and a push from the BB (big stack). I call and he has QQ and makes a four flush. I lose my race and am out in 5th.

I suck.

Donkeys After Dark - Part Deux

This show is really starting to get on my nerves. I am not sure if it's Ali talking nonsense in the background or just the horrific donkey play of these "pros". Catching up on this week's show:

Farha overpalys AK and is left with around half his starting stack. He then limps T300 on the button with KJo, SB (Gus) calls T150 with 76s and BB (Forrest) raises to T1500 with AJs. Both donkeys call this big raise.
Flop comes all clubs and nobody has a club.
Gus checks.
Forrest moves all-in.
Fraha calls with a three outer shot to win. Gus folds.
Donkey Farha goes home.

This is the second time I've seen him make a seriously donkey play. That is some really bad poker. No matter how you look at it.

A couple of hand later Forrest limps with KQs and Tony G raises to T700 with 99.
Flop is KT9 rainbow with one spade. Forrest has two spades and is first to act. He bets T600 (blinds still 150/300) and Tony raises to T2100.
Forrest re-raises to T5000 and Tony moves all-in.

Now Forrest starts talking and Tony tells him he doesn't have QJ but he might have AJ. He tells Forrest that if he tells him what he has he will let him know if he's ahead. Forrest says "what if I have KQ of spades?" and Tony tells him he would be a winner.

So Forrest calls off the rest of his chips and is a 4-to-1 dog and needs running spades or a J, but since that was really an awful call he's gone. He did catch another spade on the turn but never improved.

Now, seriously. Is it just because these guys don't really care about the show that they are playing like this? I mean there is 120K on the line. Is it really too low for them to actually play for?

Pathetic. Really.

Discuss....

Daniel Negraneu has lost his mind

What is wrong with this guy? Does he really think he's funny? I'm not talking about the "blackface" debate that this little video blog started, but rather just the fact that it is really not funny, as in humorless. I can't believe someone can be such a media whore. It's right up there with Lindsay and Britney types.

I actually do respect his game, but every time I hear, read or see some of this stuff I am blown away. It's gotten to the point that every other post he makes is some sort of clarification or apology. If you want to be a comedian go to open mic night and do some stand-up. If you get no laughs then drop it. Getting into blog flight with Joe Rogan? Dutch Boyd? Doing that awful Rob & Amber show? Posting about himself in the third person on 2+2?

Get a life DN.

UPDATE: I just read his next blog entry and figured out where he got the idea.



OMG! How unoriginal can you get? You're not even using your own material? What's next? Norbit impersonations? The whole bar scene from "Coming to America"? What a loser. Just stick to poker, will ya?

Kajagugu: 0 - United Fritata: 2

Please don't fly United Airlines. The su-huck big time. I am o-for-2 in getting a fritata when upgraded to first class. Apparently this cheap ass airline can only afford 6 fritata breakfast plates for the 8 first class passengers on it's planes. The other two get a fruity fruit plate. The first time I upgraded I made the awful mistake of sitting in seat 1A and falling asleep during take-off. By the time breakfast was served I had missed my opportunity to order my fritata and had to settle for the fruit plate. But the second time I was wide awake the whole time. Alas, this time I got seat 2D (the eighth seat in first class) and so by the time the flight attendant asked me if I would like a fritata I thought I'm gold. Here's how it went down:

"Would you like the fritata or the fruit plate this morning?"
"Ummm, definitely the fritata."
"Would it be alright to serve you the fruit plate if we run out of fritatas?"
"No, not really. I really want the fritata. I had the fruit plate last time and it wasn't that great."
"Ok, I'll see what I can do."

10 minutes later I get handed the fruit plate, while the guy in the seat next to me gets a fritata.

"Uh, I actually asked for the fritata."
"Yes, but we only had six of them today and you said it would be alright to give you a fruit plate."
"????? - That's actually the opposite of what I said. I can't believe your cheap airline orders 6 fritatas for 8 people. That is some serious cut backs you're making and I'm sure it really improves the bottom line. But seeing as I am the last one to get served I guess I am just going to eat the fruit plate, right?"
"Is there anything else I can get you?"
"Yes, a fritata would be nice."
"I'm very sorry but we are out of fritatas. Is there anything else I can get you, a danish or croissant?"
"How many of those do you have?"
"Let me go check, I need to pass them around anyway in a minute."
"Make sure you start with the 2 people who didn't get fritatas, m-kay?"

2 minutes later she comes back with the bread basket.

"Would you like a danish or croissant?"
"I'll have 3 of each please and bring me some more butter while you're at it, thanks."

Stupid airline, I swear.

Oh and it gets better. On my return flight I had a wonderful red-eye with a connection through Chicago. I was happy to see we would be flying on a Boeing 777 and not some craptastic MD-80. But apparently these 777s are from the beta phase that Boeing released some 40 years ago because not only did they not have the personalized TV screens for each seat, they were configured 2-5-2 instead of 3-3-3 like every other 777 on the planet. Here it is visually:

United 777 config:
XX-XXXXX-XX

Normal 777 config:
XXX-XXX-XXX

So now it was nearly impossible for people in the aisles to close the overhead compartments in the middle of the plane.They just could not reach them. And for some reason sitting crammed together with 4 other people is not a whole lot of fun. I did manage to find the only row on the plane that had the middle middle (yes that's what I meant) seat empty and so I got an extra few inches for my 6'2" frame to fit in. I still woke up with tremendous shooting pains pulsating from my knees but I guess I deserved it for falling asleep in the first place.

So FUCK YOU United. Never again.

Well, unless it's an upgrade and I have a reserved fritata.

ICM ITM

Since I decided to try the Donkey SNG challenge I figured I might as well read a little about SNG strategy. I have to say, the math behind ICM is pretty amazing. There are two things that bug me a bit though:

1) I don't want to get to a situation where I am so short stacked that I have to play push/fold poker.
2) I am not sure how much fun this is going to be playing this way.

I obviously have a lot more to learn, but so far I am more confused than I was a few hours ago. More to come.

Best. Spam. Ever.

I love spam (NOT). The canned type. A couple decades ago I was the master of spam related cooking in my unit. I could make anything out of it. Meatloaf. Chinese. Pasta. Anything you wanted, seriously. My unit would arrive hungry and drooling over each night's creation.

I hate spam (the new kind). But sometimes I get something that makes me laugh:

Hey Bud ,
I heard on the boards you are a preety good Poker Player.
well, I can beat you ass in any type of poker and mostly texas holdem any given day.
Come visit me in my favorite poker room, get a decent bonus and the best of all, If u beat me in the game I will pay for your Trip to VEGAS!!!
look for user 'playpokerwithme'

See you Tonight on http://www.geocities.com/[some redirect to a Titan Poker affiliate link]

I laughed and laughed and laughed. I especially love the bad spelling and grammar. Did he just call me an ass in this invitation? I can beat you ass? Real preety Bud. Real preety.

Donkey Challenge

I followed a couple of links to the Donkey Challenge and decided it was perfect for me and my bankroll. I deposited $50 on Flush Tilt and set my sites on the prize. But....

I have been up for about 24 hours.
I flew East to West Coast this early morning and lost 3 hours.
I went to a business dinner and had a Martini, a Mojito and 2+ glasses of red wine.
I was trying to get my stupid hotel TV to stay on HBO so I could see the end of King Kong finally.

I started out my challenge like this: 9 9 4 9 3 2. Ummm.... Not so good. I am indeed a donkey.

I figured I need to be ITM 7/10 to go up or OTM 7/10 to go down a level. Should I consider going below the $5 starting level if I do donk it up? I don't think I will be interested in the game if it was less than $5.

The last two games were pretty good with some really tight play after the bubble. I was pretty aggressive HU but never had the chip lead at any point. Eventually got it all in with QTo vs A6s and lost. Kind of disappointing.

Some of the players at these levels are just horrific. Some of the worst poker I have ever seen. Including me in those first two games. I need to stop bluffing these fools who can't fold a pair of 4s to a straight and flush board with all higher cards out of position. Ugh!

In other poker news, I am still trying to play some freerolls. Doing pretty great in the middle levels but can't close the deal. I played the Razz $100 freeroll on FTP and when we were down to 265 (from the starting 2400) I was 4th in chips. Ended up in 105th place. Boooooo.....

I played a $50 freeroll over at Tropical Poker with 369 runners. I was chip leader at the first break and at the second break. Then when we were down to about 20 players with the blinds at 1500/3000 I made my regular steal/raise 2 off the button to 11K. Both blinds called (I had been raising like this in position almost every hand). This time I had AA and was sure I am getting paid. Rainbow 9 high flop and both blinds check to me. I give them a free card and it feels like a blank. SB leads out with a smallish bet and BB raises about 3 times the original bet. I move all in on them both and SB thinks and thinks and then folds. BB also thinks and calls. He has 77 and has not hit the board. But what is that? A 7 on the river? A two outer strikes again to crack my Aces once again? Sure. I am gone about 3 hands later and finish in 13th place for a whopping $0.42. Awesome.

I am also playing a bunch of the UB freerolls. They are running a few of these for the Be A Pro promotion as well as the Aruba seats. Just for Hoy I played the following hand and took it down after the craptastic flop:

I am a Razz God - NOT

So due to the state of the poker nation and my continued run of bad luck I have decided to restart. No, I am not depositing into any sites. I am going to rebuild through freerolls. I know it is a lofty goal and it may take me forever, but I think it will be good for the soul. Nothing ventured, a lot gained.

I am doing the nightly grind of UB TEC, Aruba, Be A Pro and UB Points freerolls and going pretty deep. I also played a couple of UB Point SNGs (you can buy=in to money tournaments with points but you need a helluvalot more than I currently have in my account. These aren't too hard to handle and I have so far had a 1st and a 2nd, so I am building up.

I sat at one of these SNGs with some guy called Cru Jones (I doubt it was really him) but the table was going on and on about some BMX tricks he used to do back in the 80's. Some other named popped up which I vaguely recognized (Mike Miranda). I chipped up nicely and started playing some big stack uber-aggro style when I eventually got my OESD to fill up to knock out Cru in 4th. To which he said: "You're awful". Why am I awful? I can't do bike tricks? Whatever. I ended up donating some chips to the small stacks when we were down to three and got rivered twice (once when I slow played Aces - dumb). Took second and was kind of disappointed.

So while watching some FTOPS action I jumped into the nightly Razz freeroll on Flush Tilt. Whaddayaknow? Razz does not have flushes. This must be the game for me! Knowing nothing about Razz except for what I saw on TV and read in Hoyazo's rants, I don't expect to do very well. But lo and behold, look at me during the first break:



SO at this point I figured I must at least try to understand some basic starting hand strategy and I Googled "razz basic strategy". The first few links were no good but then I came across none other than F-Train's guide to Razz starting hands and dead cards. Needless to say it all went straight downhill from there. I ended up in about 190th place out of the starting 2400 which is nice because it is a top 10%, but these freerolls pay out $100 spread across the top 27 (about 1% of the players).

I won't bore you with too many screenshots. I'll just put up one to show you how bad some of these players are:

2 Red Cents

That's all that's left at Flush Tilt. I give up. I can't do anything right I guess. I ran Aces into the ground so many times in the last couple of days that I have no confidence in myself and I'm not sure how to play anymore. If I can't play Aces then there is no real reason to try to play poker at all:





When I actually manage to catch a hand I get this with a runner runner four-flush:



So I'm done for now. There's no easy way to deposit and I'm not sure I even want to. I will go back to grinding out freerolls and trying to build from nothing, Chris Ferguson style (or even better WY style). I actually made the top 50 in a TEC freeroll at UltimateBet. 30th place out of almost 3000 is not so bad, right? Now I need to place in the top 10 on Sunday afternoon (when I can't really play) to win the actual TEC (Tournament Entry Chip):

FTOPS #4 - The Donkfest

So I was watching the "play" at Flush Tilt for event #4 of FTOPS which was a $100 rebuy. I must say that I think that even though it was one of the smallest guarantees and had "only" $100 buy-in, it was the most -EV event so far by far. The $50K guarantee was blown to bit and ended up with a prize pool of around $214K with almost twice the number of rebuys as entries (which were around 600) and about 300 add-ons. I saw a few players who sunk at least a cool grand into the event. The fun part about all this is that only 63 places paid.

I guess the folks playing this tournament have gigantic bankrolls and a little $100 rebuy is not going to hurt them the least. Lucky bastards.

I took snapped some screenshots of some of the tables that had big name players on them. In this one you can see four players all-in (all with double rebuys) and JohnnyBax scooping a 20K pot with his rivered straight:



In this one you can see how Phil Gordon gets lucky with a rivered straight of his own:



None of these guys made the money BTW.

A few of the players I recognized were Rizen and of course the FTP pros. Rizen was in the lead around bubble time but couldn't sustain his lead and was knocked out around 30th. Allen Cunningham (who said he was only in for $300 (meaning one rebuy and one add-on) was the last pro standing and made it to 14th place after a couple of awful beats. Some guy called Deu_Zebra, who according to the observer chat is the best PLO player in Brazil (I guess they keep some sort of ranking list there, seriously?) took the whole thing down for about 52K.

Watching FTOPS #4

Decided to see how this would play out and saw some hilarious comments in the chat at Phil Gordon and Lee Watkinson's table:

REM1284 (Observer): im sure you dont care, and he
might not have observer turned on, Phil you are a
genious and your book is awsome
Soundbwoy611 (Observer): smart people spell
genius this way

tonomoney (Observer): how come some people get
more chips than others
TheBluffFactory (Observer): add ons
tonomoney (Observer): cheaters

TrueBet: should I get a mortgage for the rebuys right
now?
overbet56: this is gonna get expensive i know it
already
arebomb (Observer): if you bought into this
tournament and didnt plan to rebuy, lol
overbet56: didnt see it waws a rebuy
cman125 (Observer): yeah, bring the checkbook
overbet56: im gonna freakin spend 2 grand in this
thign
arebomb (Observer): lucky D Negraneu isn't playing :)

cman125 (Observer): guys, Efro got to 9K on the 1st
hand

So I went to check out E-Fro's table and saw that he was sitting across from JohnnyBax who also had 9K already. This is going to be murder.

Ok, that's enough of that.

Is FTP rigged?

It's a good question. One I go back and forth on. I don't think it's rigged per-se, however the "randomness" online sometimes looks a little suspect. I give you this example from FTOPS #1 last night. Shorty pushes from the Button and Mike Matusow calls:



And this was not a small raise either. It was about about 1/5 of Matusow's stack if I remember correctly. So the button goes from a 78% favorite pre-flop to a 93% favorite on the flop, to to 89% on the turn, to a loser on the river. Is that a sick beat or what? That should have been a CLEAR fold for Matusow. Sick.

Neteller, FTP Ironman and FTOPS

With the recent Neteller insanity and the fact they have transfered "only" $55M to the US government, I can only take some comfort in this:




In other news I am going to try to play the Ironman Freeroll this afternoon. Wish me luck.

Update: What a silly tournament that was. I think about 2/3 of the players were not playing. Every table I was on had between 3 and 4 live players. And I got to visit A LOT of tables. I must have been moved about 12 times in the first hour. Needless to say, it was not fun. 180 spots paid and as soon as the bubble burst I was out:



I managed two massive suckouts early on to get a comfortable stack to make the money.




Eventually when the bubble burst and my M was around 5 I pushed with 33 and lost a race to an AQ shorty. THen the next hand I pushed with K-10 and got called by the SB who had 6s and made a straight. One other player said he had the other two sixes. Still, $25 is better than nothing.

Living vicariously through Hoyazo I watched him donk out early of FTOPS event #1. He was at the same table as E-Fro and decided to go to war with him holding a pair of 7s which he called pre-flop in position. The flop was 8-9-T and after a bet from E-Fro Hoy went all-in. E-Fro was holding QTs and hit a Q on the river just to make it a little more painful.

Why am I going on and on describing this play? Because I ended up doing something very similar in one of the Daily Doubles I was in. Oh, in the other I lost with AA when some fonkey called my perfectly timed all-in with a pair of 9s and hit his 2-outer on the flop.

I wish Hoy better luck in the next few events.

Inventor of Crappy Electric Slide: Stop Dancing Like Crap - Gizmodo

Inventor of Crappy Electric Slide: Stop Dancing Like Crap - Gizmodo

I just love the folks over at Gizmodo. Never a dull moment.

Fult Tilt Poker pulls the plug on all their guaranteed tournaments

Hoyazo writes a big 'ole rant about how he got screwed by FTP on Superbowl Sunday after they supposedly unintentionally killed their servers and did not have to pay their guaranteed prizes to players.



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I hope some of the poker "news" outlets pick this story up and run with it. I think FTP should publish some sort of explanation as to what happened and why they don't care about their players. This is far worse than what PokerRoom tried to pull a few weeks ago with their not-so-guaranteed guarantee tournament.

I said I wouldn't do it...

...but I did. I took $110 of my home game winnings and bought two gift2go $50 Visa gift cards at the Walgreens down the street. They were all out of the $100 cards (they only get fifteen at a time) and I was not really surprised. They had lots of $50 and $30 left though. The activation fee was 10% per card instead of the 6% for the $100 but I guess that's just how it's going to be.

I then had a serious debate with myself as to whether or not I want to load $50 on both FTP and Stars. Stars is just a money pit for me but I ended up doing it anyway. I guess the thought of actually creating a bankroll out of this $50 was appealing somehow.

Both sites worked like a charm. And just so everyone knows, these Visa cards are issued by a US Bank (I think Marshall Bank or something) and not available for use in Vermont. Good enough for now. I still think the end is near, but I will at least play it out.

Kicking some home game ass!

Monthly home game was tonight and I had BrainMc drive the 2.8 miles from his place to mine to join the fonkeys in my hood. We were a total of 16 and played two tables and two games. The first game was brutal as the blinds doubled every 20 minutes and we didn't have many chips to start. We also faced the issue of everyone playing super-tight the first game and having two short tables until we merged. I made it to the final table with a decent stack but the blinds were killing us. I waited to make my all-in push and when I saw A9o UTG with an M of about 3 and the blind going to double the next hand I knew I had to push. I got a luckbox caller with A5o who promptly hit his 5 on the flop and IGH in something like 6th. Oh well, at least I got my money in as a 2 to 1 favorite and he caught a 3 outer.

Earlier I played one interesting hand when I got AKs in the BB. This was probably my best hand a so far and when the button called the BB and then my 3xBB raise I was kind of worried. The flop was 10-10-3 and I made a 3xBB continuation bet and got called again. I was really worried now. The turn was a Jack of diamonds making a gutshot straight draw and a nut flush possible for me. I bet out again 3xBB and was re-raised all-in. I was sure he didn't have a 10 or he would have raised (this guy has no slow-play ability). I figured he hit the Jack and so I started to count my outs. 9 diamonds, 4 Queens, and either 3 Kings or 3 Aces. My best guess was that he was holding AJ so my total outs were 16. At this point I figured I was behind and getting about 3 to 1 to call. But now the pot was laying 4 to 1 odds and I figured there was probably no turning back. I called and he showed his AJo and I hit my Queen on the river to double up. Phew.

Second game we decided to add a few chips and let the blinds double every 25 minutes. At my first table I tangled with the guy from the last hand again. This time he was the chip leader after busting out one of the fonkies who could not fold his top pair third kicker to a top pair second kicker (dumb fonkies!). So once again I am in the SB and the button limps. I raise to 4xBB with pocket 8s and he smooth calls. He loves to limp but when he called I sure as hell didn't like it as I was going to play out of position. The flop was 10-8-4 all diamonds and I went all-in. He thought about it for a very long time and eventually said he just can't let this hand go and called with pocket Aces! Since he didn't call immediately I was sure he didn't have the flush but figured he had at least the Ace of diamonds. He didn't. I doubled up and now had some chips to play with.

The funny thing about that hand is that I was just telling everyone how this same guy busted me a few months ago when he got Aces and I had Kings and since he sat to my left I was not able to see his eyes almost pop out of his head (something everyone else at the table saw and quickly folded). Revenge is mine.

We moved to the final table and I was in pretty good shape. I was still getting pretty lousy cards when all of a sudden I look down at two beautiful Queens UTG. I made a 4xBB raise and the same guy who 3-outed me earlier and has a decent sized stack goes all-in. Now I know by now that his range is pretty big and he loves Ax or any suited face card. Not sure he goes all-in with these holdings but I figured there is no way he goes all in with Aces or Kings at this point. I figure he has either AK, AQ or a lower pair than mine. I call and he shows AJo (hoyazo must be very proud right now). Of course he hits his Ace on the flop (3 outer again) and goes on to double up and cut my stack to almost half. I made it my purpose to bust him and his loose plays.

A few hands later and the blinds are starting to creep up I look at A7o UTG+1 and shove. Same guy is no next to act and he has a huge stack. He thinks about it a long time and calls with AQo. I catch a 7 on the flop and when the Ace comes on the turn he jumps out of his chair and does a little victory dance. No dance for you buddy, I also have an Ace. No Queen on the river and I double up. Revenge is mine again.

I went on a pretty good run after that and knocked out a couple more players. I played some good big stack poker and pushed the table around. When we were down to 4 I was in the SB with A4s and just called the BB. The loose guy on my left was in the BB and shoved. He did it so quickly that I knew he had nothing and I called right away. He had KJo and I hit my unnecessary Ace and took him out on the bubble. Boo-hoo. I knew I was taking him out and I did. Revenge is one again mine.

We were down to three and I was getting some strong hands (must have seen AK 3 times in a row). Small stacks were hurting and it was becoming a push fest. I almost called a couple of times but my hands were so bad that I decided to just fold and try later. The opportunity came when the SB pushed when I held QJs in the BB. I insta-called and he showed K9s. The flop was J-J-10 and he was pretty much drawing dead because all he could how for were running Kings. The Queens were out as they gave me a boat and when one of them showed up on the river he was done. I finished off the other guy shortly after when he called my 10s all-in with 85s I took it down.

I was hoping to start a third game but people were dropping out and we were just four left. I was running hot and I wanted some more. But I guess winning 4.5 times my buy-in is not so bad.

I love these mash-ups (and other stupid stuff)

This has nothing to do with poker. I just always come across these hilarious remakes of trailers to famous movies that take a totally different spin on things.

10 Things I Hate About Commandments - Probably my favorite:



When Harry Met Sally - NSFW:



F**k Club (a ghey take on one of the best films ever)- NSFW:



The Office Crime Drama:



Brokeback Island (Lost) - There are hundreds of these (people have too much time):



“Smells Like Teen Spirit” in reverse:



K-Fed has a sense of humor (Superbowl commercial):



Knocked Up (this is a new movie, but while I am at it - here goes) - NSFW:



Ok, that should keep you all busy for a few minutes. Enojy.

Can it get any worse for the moribund Neteller?

See, I said I was going to use this word more often. Check this new development at Neteller. They've closed US accounts, disabled Peer-to-Peer transfers for US accounts and de-certified US accounts. Morons. And anyone who still has money at Neteller is also a moron:

Why can't I perform Peer-to-Peer transfers anymore?

In order to ensure that US members do not use NETELLER with the intent to gamble online, NETELLER is no longer offering its Peer-to-Peer service in the US.

Why isn’t my account certified anymore?

US member accounts have been temporarily de-certified to revoke Peer-to-Peer capabilities. These accounts should be automatically re-certified in the next 10 business days, but Peer-to-Peer transfers will no longer be available to US members.

Why has my NETELLER account been closed?

If you recently performed a Peer-to-Peer transfer, your account may have been temporarily closed. Your account should be automatically re-opened within 5 business days, but you will no longer be able to perform Peer-to-Peer transfers.

Word of the Day: Moribund

How timely, adequate and accurate. One of my bloglines feeds is the Dictionary.com Word of the Day. And today they found the perfect word to describe the state of US Online Poker:

moribund \MOR-uh-bund\, adjective:
1. In a dying state; dying; at the point of death.
2. Becoming obsolete or inactive.

I have to admit, I have never seen or heard that word before and it is now probably one of my favorite. Just rolls of the tongue. Delicious.

Sponsored Post: Poker Tables at Cardroom Supply

So the first time I was asked to review Cardroom Supply I messed up and didn't submit my review on time. You can read that review here. They liked me enough to give me a second chance.

This time I am going to review their Poker Tables. It's pretty funny, but after the last time I actually told a couple of neighbors of mine to check out the site and see if they can get a good deal on two tables they were going to buy. They had recently finished off their basement and put in a game room and needed two tables. Since they were going high end they were shocked by some of the prices out there.

I think they settled on two 54" Cherry Leather Round Poker Tables. They didn't get the chairs that go with the tables though. but it still looks great. We played there last month and the tables were awesome. You could slide the cards easily across and not worry about them flipping over. The felt had just the right amount of bounce to it. The cup holders were great.

Two other guys in the neighborhood built their own tables and while those are very nice, they don't really compare. The felt on one of them flips every card over and the other table is just not stable enough.

I also want to mention the fact that on orders over $100 you get free shipping. This is a HUGE saving when you're dealing with furniture. You can't beat this deal.

There is a full range of tables to choose from. Some professional casino tables with a dealer slot and all the way down to simple folding table toppers. While you're checking out the tables you can also load up on chips, cards and other accessories.

Running bad

Real bad. I am down to $.90 on FTP and $.29 on PS. UB gave me $10 to play with and I managed to fonk that away to almost nothing too. I did get into a $2 bounty tournament with $250 guaranteed which was a lot of fun. $1 goes to the prize pool and $1 is a bounty on every player. Bust them out and get your buck. I busted out about 5-6 players and made the money but since I didn't final table it it was insignificant. I kind of enjoyed that.

Mansion has my last $20.21 trapped in a vault in the UK and I need to figure out what the hell a SWIFT account is in order to get it wired to my bank account. I bet I get a wire fee of $25 and actually end up owing someone some money. DreamPoker still has about $48 in it and I hope to find something to do with it since that is pretty much my entire bankroll right now.

I should get my rakeback on FTP sometime this month and that will allow me to play a few Mookies.

The truth is I am a little tired of online poker and the fact that the money is trapped makes fonking it off more digestible. I play the occasional freerolls here and there, but I don't think I will be using any ePassportes or Wirecards to feed this money machine before it dies. Why do I think it will die? Because it cannibalizes itself. Eventually these sites will rake away everyones bankrolls. This is what they are in business for. If the money just moves from one player to another on the site and they all keep playing eventually the house takes all the money. In order not to pay out all this rake the winning players take their money off the site in big chunks, leaving less for the site to rake away. So less money is coming in, Money that can be taken out is leaving and the rake takes the rest. They killed off the middleman and that's how they're going to starve the beast.

So what do I have to look forward to?
1) NBC Heads Up. I have been playing there and getting better and better. I started off with about 6 wins in a row.
2) The Ironman freeroll on FTP. I don't expect much as it is on a Saturday afternoon, but a boy can dream.
3) The Poker After Dark final freeroll. It will obviously have a 5000 seat full field and only the winner gets anything, so let's say a 5000:1 shot. I like my odds. NOT!
4) Fonking off the rest of my rolls across the sites.

And then I'm done.
For now.