Monkey Poker

I've played a little poker over the past weekend and I have come to the conclusion that some of the players on the other side are actual real life monkeys. You know, like the one that almost played in the WSOP. Well, he was technically an ape and not a monkey, but you get the point. You've all had that feeling, right? You know at some level it's true. There's someone breeding monkeys who can click a mouse and play poker. It's true. I'm gathering evidence and when I have enough I will blow this whole story wide open.

The good thing about all this is that I want to play with the monkeys. It takes skill completely out of the equation and leaves just the luck factor in play. And we all know that humans are much luckier than monkeys, right? Didn't some guy called Darwin prove that? Humans are luckier because they don't have to eat ticks off each others' backs any more. And we don't need to live on a mountain in the fog while eating ticks off each others' backs. I think I made my case right there.

So if it's just my luck against some monkey luck, I guess I have an edge. I haven't figured out that edge exactly, but I know it's there. Once I find it and harness it I will be unstoppable. Well, that and the fact that I have to figure out a way to discern between actual monkeys and really stupid humans. That one might be tough but I have a few techniques I can try. The easy one is to try to get them to answer a simple question. If they reply with "oooh oooh aaah aaah", then obviously you're dealing with a monkey. If, on the other hand, you get "stfu mf", you have a dumb human.

Anyway, it's a work in progress.

I have been going deep in a few of these tournaments, though. On Saturday night I managed my first double cash in the Daily Doubles and went out in 50th in one of them when I got too tired to continue playing. Rock Band was calling me from across the room. I also went deep in the $10+1R+1A on Stars. I really love those. FTP has them as well and I also noticed they added shootouts, which now include heads-up tourneys (which are basically shootouts for two players).

Look for a more thorough evaluation and detection technique on Monkey Poker later on.

PS: I just realized my own picture on the top right. Oooh oooh.