Shootouts

I've written here several times about how much I love the soft double shootout tournaments to the Sunday Million on Stars. They've had shootouts forever on Stars and I even won a triple shootout back in January with a full 729 players. Full Tilt only added shootouts in the last run of the FTOPS and they are quite different animals. So I decided to write a little comparison for everyone here:

The main fundamental difference is the structure. Stars starts shorthanded and then fills up the final table, while Full Tilt starts with full tables and then moves only the winner to the final table. What does this mean?

If you are playing a standard shootout you will star shorthanded on Stars with deep stacks. Once you advance you get to a full final table and play a regular STT. On FTP you start at a full table and the winners get to play shorthanded at the final table. Depending on the tournament there are advantages to both systems.

The Sunday Million DS makes it very advantageous to play the way Stars set it up. If you make the FT you only have to make it to the top 2 or 3 spots to win a seat. I think I prefer to get the easier table and heads-up out of the way and then deal with all the "winners".

Another thing to consider is the blind structure. There have been countless comparisons of the STT structures between the sites and I still find that Stars has a much slower and more manageable blind escalation system that Full Tilt. Both start with 1500 chips but Stars has 10 minute levels starting with 10/20 while FTP has 6 minute levels starting with 15/30. They eventually even out after 30 minutes of play to a 50/100 level but that's pretty much where the similarities end. After one hour of play Stars is at 100/200 with 25 antes, while FTP is 120/240 with no antes (which are never in play). Mind you, this is for a regular STT and not necessarily the shootout. I couldn't find a single non-turbo shootout on FTP, outside of the heads-up type.

That brings me to another point. Why did FTP add shootouts if they were not going to add them to the tourney rotation? They barely use them as turbo sats and they never use them just as plain ole' shootouts. So what's the point? Stars, on the other hand, has a tremendous amount of shootouts to choose from at all buy-in levels. Especially the double shootouts to the million. Those run at least 50 times a day it seems.

I guess you guys (and gals) can make your own decisions. Looks like Hoy is going to ch-ch-ch-change the MATH format to a shootout starting with next week. I personally like the Stars shootout format.

What do you think?

Flickr Meme

Too much work. Just mosaic.

ORLY?

This can't be real right?

Live at Bobby's and Saturdays with the Doc

Got a second chance to play live this week when we decided to move the monthly hood game to last Friday instead of dealing with the 4th of July weekend. Bobby hosted and we got some old regulars to show up again for a total of 18 players.

I played like a complete idiot in the first tournament. I was trying to play loose and see a lot of flops. I could not connect at all and then for some reason I decided to go to war with 88 vs AA. Out in the first level is not so much fun, so I packed up my stuff and went home.

KajaWife was surprised to see me and told me to get my ass back there and socialize. Reluctantly, I did just that and found Surflexus (who brought his wife along this time - it was a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Surf!) was also out. We decided to play a heads-up tournament with 3000 chips and 50/100 blinds that don't go up. Started out pretty slow, then we started getting more aggressive and adventurous with our play and eventually I took it down when Surf called my re-re-raise jam with 88 holding just T3o. I was pretty surprised, but he said he figure he was short and had two live cards. My 8s held up and I took it down.

By then we had enough people to start a cash game and use the second table after the tourney consolidated to one. We played .25/.50 NLHE with a $20 buy-in and I cashed for 3.5 buy-ins. I can't remember a single hand I was in. Oh wait, I can. I managed to dodge a flush draw. Can you believe it. Here's how it played out:

Joey (new to the hood) was on my right and had limped in (as was the norm at the table). I was on the button and decided to pop it to $3 with AQs. Everyone folded except for Joey who checked the Ace high flop. I decided to use the good old, check-my-top-pair and see what happens. The board has two diamond and one spade, so I knew this could get me in trouble. The turn was a second spade and Joey bet $5. I re-raised to $15 which put him all-in and he decided to call with KsJs. I managed to dodge the 9-outer and took it down.

So cash was a lot of fun. I usually don't enjoy the cash game, because we play a low buy-in and we are just passing the time until the second tournament. I also stacked Crystal and Surf once each. We did talk about setting up a cash game poker night instead of playing a tournament and there was general consensus that it would be a good idea. I know I will have to tighten up for that one.

Anyway, on to the second tourney. We were 10-handed after we manged to convince BrainMc and his brother to stick around. I played an awful hand that got me to donate almost half my stack to Joey, who was seated to my right again. I limped in with KQs UTG and since nobody ever raises we saw the Queen high flop multi-handed. Joey was in the BB and bet out. I decided to just smooth call, hoping to get more people in the pot. But everyone folded and we were heads-up. The turn was a King, giving me two pair. I decided to slow play it and checked behind Joey. The river was a Jack, making a King high straight possible and obviously he had it. I called his river bet anyway and lost half my stack. I tried to go into short-stack ninja mode but couldn't get anything going, eventually shoving from the BB when I flopped top pair crap kicker and lost to Crystal's better kicker.

I went home a tournament loser but a cash game winner, overall up for the evening.

Then yesterday I had some time in the afternoon and decided to hop on the Saturday's with Dr. Pauly game. If there's anyone out there who doesn't know who Dr. Pauly is, get out from under that rock and click the link already. Best WSOP coverage you can get as well as existentialist conversation with strippers.

Anyway, it's PLO Hi, which I have no business playing because I have no idea how to play hands like JJTT double suited. I even typed in the chat the following:

Kajagugu: I play too loose
Kajagugu: I play to lose

Interesting, huh?

Anyway, my strategy (if you can call it that) is to play a lot of hands early on and see a lot of flops, chase my draws and suck out. This usually works (to my surprise) and I was chip leader for almost the entire event until we got to the final table. We went on break and then I played two awful hands and lost my lead. Then I got my KK cracked twice and I was out in 5th out of 25 runners. Congrats to Pauly's brother Derek who took it down. So rigged. I'm kidding, of course. Derek played very well. I even made a big laydown to him when I flopped top two on a two club board and he potted behind me. I figured he had a set so I folded and he confirmed it in the chat.

You can head over to PXF and see the entire thing play out. I would love to hear some comments from the PLO playing public.

Of course this would not be a complete post without a screen shot:

Still running bad - this time LIVE

KajaWife was hosting her friends for book club last night, so I got a rare chance to go to BrainMc's hood and play with those guys. They are a very nice bunch over there. They suck at poker, but they are nice guys. Oh, you know I keed, right?

I had a great time while running terribly. I think I am getting to a point where running bad doesn't bother me as much. I anticipate it and not surprised by it any more. I think that this way I get an exhilirating rush of joy when I actually do win a hand. Here are some examples:

1) JJ vs 95s - Flop 95x. Only good news there was that the flop was all spades and both my Jacks were red. The turn was also a spade so I lost the least amount possible there.

2) AJ vs A9 - Flop had a 9 in it. It also had a King so that kind of killed the action again.

3) KQ vs Q2s - Blinds were getting high so I had to shove UTG with KQo. SB was shorter so he called with Q2s. Flop came Queen then 2. Blech!

4) AK vs J7s - Guy had not played a hand in more than an hour so UTG he shoves J7s, I am in the SB and make the call with AcK. Flop two clubs, turn another (kills two of his 6 outs), river 7. I'm done.

I did manage to make a great comeback after the KQ hand. I had BB(600)+100 chips left. BrainMc was the small blind and when UTG limped in, he just completed, leaving me the chioce of throwing my last chip in or not. I looked down at 6c4c (just for fun, of course it's all going in at some point). I decided to check my option. Flop had 2 clubs and I was all-in, baby! Turn was another club that made my flush and I tripled up. I got it all-in again a few hand later with A4 and got called by 88, only to see an Ace in the door. I run great when I can't hurt anyone.

BrainMc was having a tough time all night with getting max value from his monsters. He would either not bet enough or bet too much and was a little frustrated that Jeff was getting the better of him every time they tangled. If BrainMc had two pair, the Jeff would make a straight on the river, re-raise and get paid off. It was pretty brutal to just watch. But then in two hands it was over for Jeff at the hands of BrainMc. Once, when he was short, he flopped a boat in the BB when Jeff limped to him and called his shove with A8 on a 533 board (BrainMc had 53, drawing dead baby, sweet). Then a couple hand later, BrainMc had a King-high flush vs Jeff's Jack-high flush and was drawing dead again.

I left right after my bust out hand. I am exhausted from a lot of work and KajaKid waking up at 6:22am every morning for the past eternity. Matt the host brews his own beer, which tasted amazing and was about 6% proof. But I was too tired to even drink a second one and headed home to catch some Zs.

WDYD? (Live game)

Not sure where this idea came from, but I was driving to work this morning and thought about an interesting situation. I want to ask in form of multiple questions and would love to hear what you think and what you actually do. All these apply to live play, when you have a decent stack at a full table. Pick the one answer you do the most;

1) How do you look at your cards as they are being dealt:
a. Look at the cards one by one as I get them.
b. Wait till I get both cards and then look at them.
c. Don't look at the cards until it is my turn to act.
d. I never look at my cards.
e. Something else. Explain.

2) What do you look at while the cards are being dealt:
a. Look at the cards as they slide across the table.
b. Look at each player as they get their cards.
c. Look at my cards, like I said in the previous question. Sheesh!
d. Go to the bathroom, get a beer, grab something to eat, etc.
e. Something else. Explain.

3) What do you do when the flop, turn and river are being dealt?
a. Look at the board.
b. Look at my opponent(s).
c. Go to the bathroom, get a beer, grab something to eat, etc.
d. Something else. Explain.

4) What do you do when you are the button and dealing the cards?
a. I try not to misdeal and stay focused on the cards.
b. I somehow try to look at the other players as they get their cards.
c. I deal quickly and then look at each player as they check their cards.
d. I have no idea.
e. Something else. Explain.

5) What do you do as the dealer when in the hand and dealing the flop, turn and river?
a. Look at the cards as I deal them.
b. Deal while looking at the other players.
c. Deal quickly and then look at the players.
d. I have no idea.
e. Something else. Explain.

6) What do you do when not in a hand?
a. Look at the players still in the hand to try to get tells & reads.
b. Try to figure out what everyone has.
c. Shake your head in disgust because you folded trash that would have flopped huge.
d. Go to the bathroom, get a beer, grab something to eat, etc.
e. Something else. Explain.

OK, I think that's enough. For full disclosure here are my answers first:
1. b
2. b
3. b
4. a
5. a
6. b

So this was more of a way for me to figure things out. I think I want to be here:
1. c
2. b
3. b
4. ?
5. ?
6. b

So the real problem areas are questions 4&5. Obviously these apply only at a home game where you are dealing your own cards. Everything else is a matter of discipline.

So, What Do You Do?

I shall not bluff

Why do I get overly stupid and try to bluff calling stations? Why would I take my decent stack and gift it to someone else? What makes someone try to bluff? I need to learn to control that.

I played the $8 rebuy on Stars and went pretty deep:



If anyone is interested in seeing the debacle, just head over to PXF. Let me know if you have any comments.

Power Hold'em Strategy

Daniel Negreanu finally released his long awaited book on low ball entitled Power Hold'em Strategy. It should be a good read and at $23 is a lot cheaper than signing up for PokerVT. Oh, and also, you don't have to hear Daniel speak or see him do any hip-hop routines, geek speak and other neurotic behavior. I love ya' DN, but you are a bit overexposed, me thinks.

Anyway, I ordered the book so I have something to read on my upcoming long-ass flight. I will have a review shortly after I finish it. I might be screwing with my game by reading this as well as Kill Everyone (which I haven't finished yet, BTW). So now I will owe people two reviews. God, you don't give a guy a break, do ya'?

Get yours here:

Impostor!!!

I ran across an interesting article on ProBlogger that I think some people will enjoy reading. It's about Blogger Impostor Syndrome and is a very strange phenomenon.

And even more interesting is that the word impostor is comprised of "I'm Post Or". How appropriate.

Super Turbo Crack

You have 20-30 minutes to kill? You want to get the adrenaline pumping? You need to get your poker fix? Play the Super Turbo Crack games on Full Tilt Poker.

I just can't stay away from these. I fired up 4 of them and went 1-1-1-6:



So far I have played 4 sessions of 4. I have 5 wins and 4 3rd place finishes, so ITM 9/16. I think it's interesting that I have no 2nd places. If I get heads-up I take it down, baby! Also, my ROI is 70.97%. I don't believe this is sustainable but it's still really pretty to see:



Too bad I suck at almost everything else I play :-)

Amazing word

What 9 letter English word, with every letter you remove is still an English word, until you are left with a one letter word?

STARTLING
STARTING
STARING
STRING
STING
SING
SIN
IN
I

Pretty cool, no?

I still run bad

I don't know what to do. I am playing well but:

1) I can't get anyone to fold a flush draw at any cost.
2) Anyone chasing a flush draw will hit.
3) I lose to 2 and 3 outers all the time.

Yes, I have my fair share of suckouts, but they usually happen when I decide to play like an idiot, knowing full well that I am making a bad play. Is that how you win at poker? Play badly and suck out? I guess so.

Anyway, I played a few more of those idiotic $3.50+.30 Super Turbo SNGs on FTP and took another 1st and 3rd. If you want to get desensitized to bad beats go plays those. It's hi-freakin'-larious.

And I also won another Sunday Million seat. Lucky hand when 4 handed, UTG raises my BB 3x and I flat with 22. Flop is 2JJ, I check, he bets 6xBB, I check raise him and he calls with 33. I need to dodge 2x3 and 2xJ and miraculously I do. Then me and the other big stack call shortie's all-in and check it down to knock him the fuck out!



I will say it again. These are so soft. Oh and some tool that I sucked out on (because I really wanted to go to bed and instead I hit my three outer) started verbally abusing me in the chat. Called me a hick bumpkin. Called me all kinds of other stuff. I told him it's funny cause hi momma calls me the same things. He vanished. Tool. Fool.

Ken Lee

I know this is old, but I am doing this for all you Bulgarian Music Idol fans out there:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Separated at birth?

Sitting on my couch, I looked over at the book shelf and something caught my eye. I wasn't sure what it was and then I figured it out:




Top: Gus Hansen
Bottom: Nosferatu

My luck is already changing!

Wicked Chops Poker (these guys are awesome) have launched a new poker forum (like we need more of those). I keed! Go sign up before the huddled masses show up:

Wicked Chops Poker Forum

Post 777

Well this should be a lucky post, right? This is the one to turn things around? We'll see.

I did a PayPal swap for some FTP$, where at the time I had 18 cents left in my account. I ended up winning a couple of the $1 and $2 SNG I was in so I didn't really need it, but thanks anyway. So now I have some cash to splash around with at the lower limits. I am going to try some discipline (I am not very good at that) and see if I can build a bankroll without going busto again. Obviously someone over at FTP has to turn off the doom switch.

So what do I do with my newfound cashish? I go play those stupid super turbos. I think the lowest they offer them is at $3.50+.30, so I fire up 4 at once. That's just how. I. roll. These things are absolutely retarded.

I get bounced from one in 8th place, after I play three hands. The first I call an extreme shortie UTG shove (75) from the BB (30) for nothing with A8o and he has AKs. Two hands later UTG limps with 33, I shove from the button with KQo and he calls for half his stack and wins.

I won another one pretty easily. Second hand ATo vs K8o doubles me up. Two hands later KQo vs QJo and it's smooth sailing with a triple stack. I get a bunch of walks at this point and on the bubble 44 jams into my 88 and I flop a boat. I run great when I don't need it. Heads-up goes quickly and I make trip sixes with A6o vs 99 to take it down.

In the next one I play a total of three hands. Double up - Triple up - Busto. I jam TT into AKs who spikes his Ace on the river to send me out in 3rd. Oh well.

The last one was the most fun. I triple up on the first hand when I jam AJo from the button, and get called by JJ in the SB and 76s who limped in MP. Triple up. Sweet. Lose some with A6o vs JJ shortie shove. Then lose some more with A4o vs 22 shortie shove. I hit my Ace on the flop but he hits another 2. So the very next hand I suckout with A5o vs AQ. Oopsie. I take out a shortie with QQ vs QJo. Now the fun really begins:

1) I play a beautiful hand with my favorite move to crush the chipleader on the bubble:

Full Tilt Poker Game #6906041171: $3.50+$0.30 Sit&Go (Sup Turbo) (52488572), Table 1 - 40/80 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:34:15 ET - 2008/06/20
Seat 1: Kajagugu (760)
Seat 4: keith1980 (425)
Seat 5: devildevilman (1,250)
Seat 8: 5intheprogram (265)
keith1980 posts the small blind of 40
devildevilman posts the big blind of 80
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kajagugu [6h Ad]
5intheprogram has 15 seconds left to act
5intheprogram folds
Kajagugu raises to 280 - Four handed I am raising on the button with crap. Pretty standard.
keith1980 folds
devildevilman calls 200 - Chipleader flat calls from the BB.
*** FLOP *** [Ah Td 8c]
devildevilman checks
Kajagugu checks - I love checking top pair.
*** TURN *** [Ah Td 8c] [4d]
devildevilman bets 160
Kajagugu raises to 480, and is all in
devildevilman calls 320 - I obviously don't have an Ace, right?
Kajagugu shows [6h Ad] - WRONG!!!
devildevilman shows [Js Ts] - Second pair? Nice.
*** RIVER *** [Ah Td 8c 4d] [9h]
Kajagugu shows a pair of Aces
devildevilman shows a pair of Tens
Kajagugu wins the pot (1,560) with a pair of Aces
The blinds are now 50/100
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,560 | Rake 0
Board: [Ah Td 8c 4d 9h]
Seat 1: Kajagugu (button) showed [6h Ad] and won (1,560) with a pair of Aces
Seat 4: keith1980 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: devildevilman (big blind) showed [Js Ts] and lost with a pair of Tens
Seat 8: 5intheprogram didn't bet (folded)

2) Next hand I try to bust the bubble but my 44 are no good against AQo.

3) Next hand I bust devildevilman (former chipleader) on the bubble when I make an easy call with Q9s vs his JTo shove on an all low flop.

4) I lose AQo vs ATs when he hits three outer.

5) I lose Ad8h vs 33 when the board comes: Jh 3h 9h Qh..... wait for it.... 3d. DQB for the re-re-re-suckout!!! I run good.

6) Then I lose most of my chips with ATo vs JJ when I hit my Ace on the flop but he makes his set at the same time. Seems like that happens a lot lately.

So I finish again in third.

1-3-3-8 I guess not too bad. These things will give you a heart-attack. Only attempt after a full physical and a note from your doctor. You have now been warned.

Oh and speaking of PayPal, I love this:



From what I'm reading lately this could also apply to the Full Tilt Payouts Department.

Post 777 - Let the Luck Begin!!!

New Sponsor

New sponsor (on the right) just signed up. Site is called PokerBonusRoll and they are listed as PKR Bonus. For those not in the US, PKR is a pretty cool site. It's all 3D and has a nice interface.

On one of my UK trips I played a tourney at The Vic that was won by a kid who worked for PKR.

Anyway, hit up my new sponsor and check out their offer.

Since you have nothing better to do...

I will keep killing workplace productivity one post at a time. I bet some of you are still trying to play the hardest game ever from the previous post. So, when you give up on that, head over to a freakishly weird site:

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

Motivation

I ran across a hilarious site today and had to share a couple of Motivational Posters:





If that last one gives you nightmares, join the club! You're welcome!

And here are some more Motivational Posters (first one's for Waffles):





Oh, and also, go Meet Mouth-Open Girl. See the Best Office Pranks. Play the HARDEST GAME EVER!!!!

OK, I've wasted enough of your time.

Sister

more graph humor and song chart memes

Cajun Sex

Last May, Boudreaux married an attractive woman, Lola, half his age.
After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and according to her Grand Momma, all Cajun women are entitled to a climax once in a while.

So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the large-animal Vet since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Pierre Part. The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Momma and Daddy would fan a cow with a big towel that was having any difficulty breeding. This would cool her down and make her relax.

So, the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from the big city of Houma to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.
After many efforts, Lola still had not climaxed! They went back to the Vet. The Vet said for Lola to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Boudreaux waved the big towel.

They tried it that night and Lola went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.
When it was over, Boudreaux looked down at the exhausted young man and in a cocky manner said, "And dat, my friend, is how you wave a towel!"

Some guys have all the luck

Take a look at this sequence. Two hands played back to back:




Yes my friends and astonished readers, thems back-to-fucking-back quads bitches. 9 hands into an SNG. How often do you see that shit happen? First hand the guy flops a set vs a flopped straight and when they get it all-in on the flop he proceeds to turn quads. The very next hand he flops quad 9s. Super sick.

And one more story before I leave. In another SNG I was crushing (standard), two shorties gave up when we were five handed and proceeded to take 2nd and 3rd place. Yes, I knocked out 4&5th places and then raised dead stacks until it was over. When they were finally all-in, I managed to suck out on them too. Fun times.

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled boring jobs. As will I.

Poker can be rough (4/180 & 11/1044)

Holy smokes. I played some pokah tonight and I feel like I ran with the bulls in Pamplona.

I tried all kinds of things. I tried a $10 rebuy and could not hit anything including a sick hand where I think I had 21 outs twice. Are you kidding me? The insane idiot at my table was hitting runner runner every hand. I say every hand because he played EVERY HAND. I gave up on that after I saw it was not going my way.

I tried the $22 heads-up matches on Stars. That went awfully. Kind of hard to win heads-up when you have dominating hands and your opponent keeps hitting the exact card you need to go busto. Like A8o vs 89o when the board completes 34567. Hurl.

I tinkered here and there with a few other events.

I won two seats to the Sunday Million through the super soft double-shootouts:

You can see the PXF replayer for this one here.

You can see the PXF replayer for this one here.

Please let me know if you have any comments.

I got lucky a couple of times as you can see, but overall I think I played these pretty well. Unregistered from the Million and bumped the $T account by a nice $400+. Not bad.

I can't stress enough how soft these are. You can choose between the regular or the turbos. You will usually start out with 4-5 max players at your table. People will play these like they have somewhere to go and all of a sudden you are extremely deep stacked. Soft softy softness. I need to go back and count how many seats I have won so far. I think it's somewhere around 8-10.

I also final tabled one of the 180-seat $12 turbo SNGs.



Bounced in 4th on a very VERY bad play. It's just a complete shove fest at this point and instead of shoving I played like a tarded lemur. Check out the penultimate busto hand here.

But the deepest run of all and the biggest disappointment is the $10 10-minute level MTT I busted out of in 11th:


1044 runners and I almost make the FT but I can't win races to save my life so when I have about 7xBB I shove 44 from the button, get called by a Jerry Yang icon player with ATs for more than 1/2 his stack and he hits the Ace on the flop with two to his suit. No one outer for me and I am dispatched. Stupid Poker. Here's the entire tournament in all it's gory. I mean glory.

So all-in-all it's been a successful day. I am close, but I just can't seal the deal. It's maddening.

I did find a fun way to drive people crazy, though. If someone raises or re-raises and then when I fold they show AKs (which for some reason people love to do), I always tell them it was a good bet because I had them dominated and they made me fold. Some people get it. Some don't.

Too much drama for yo mamma ( once again)

What is wrong with you people? Were some of you born yesterday? Do you live under a rock (or in your mother's basement)? Are you all naive social misfits? Do you have your heads so far up your own assholes that you have nothing better to do with your time?

I speak of course of the insanity that has taken over the poker-blog-iverse. Haters, cheaters, thieves, narcissists and egomaniac unite! Some people loaned money to someone who turns out to be a scammer. Others pretended to be someone they were not. People got their feelings hurt. Over and over and over again. It never ends or ceases to amaze me. Give me a fucking break!

Did you know there is a whole other breed of poker bloggers who aren't a bunch of incestuous hammer dropping idiots? Imagine that! They actually write poker blogs in order to better their games. Wow, what a concept!

Did someone write something about you that hurt your feelings? Well, boo diddly fucking hoo. Did you lend someone money and never see it again? I have a bridge to sell you. Did you just get flamed? Who cares? Get a grip!

Here's my advice:
1. Don't lend people money and expect to get it back. Just don't do it. Even if you know them in person.
2. Don't lend people large sums of money and expect to get it back. See number 1.
2.5 Don't be so surprised!
3. Take everything you read/hear with a grain of salt and some common sense.
4. Most of us are here to play poker, write and read. That's it. It's not a fucking parallel universe that you think you live in. Sure, it's nice to put up a brag post or cry about your rotten luck. It's great to get words of encouragement. It's a great forum to bounce ideas off. But that's it. Get it?
5. If you are here for more than sharing your thoughts, stories, strategy, jokes, etc. with anonymous or regular readers then you are here for the wrong reasons.
6. If you actually do meet in person, then judge for yourselves. I am sure many of you who have met before are completely different than your online personas. It's just how it works. Internet anonymity gives people more strength than they would have if they were not sitting in front of a monitor.
7. Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed. Simple fact of life.

That's pretty much it. I think I made my point pretty clear. Do you want me to draw you a pretty picture? Well I don't feel like it. Now fuck off!

You have got to be kidding!

GraphJam

From the same people who brought you the FAIL blog and Icanhascheezburger, I am happy to present GraphJam (Pop Culture
for People in Cubicles):


more graph humor and song chart memes


more graph humor and song chart memes

Denny Crane

At the place I work we give people an option to download material from our website. Demo, white papers, etc. The usual corporate crap. We ask them for some information but we don't really verify. This has been the best one to date:

Denny Crane downloaded:

Corporate Brochure

Date/Time: 2008-06-10 05:59:34
IP: xx.xxx.xxx.xx
Name: Denny Crane
Title: Name on the Door…
Company: Crane, Poole & Schmidt
Location: MA
Tel Contact #: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Email: dcrane@cps.com
Comments: Denny Crane!

ClickTale

Ever wonder how people read your blog or navigate your website? Well, I found a cool and FREE tool that lets you see exactly what's going on. It's called ClickTale and they will let you sign up for a FREE account that lets you record 100 sessions a week. If you want more than that you will have to purchase a subscription, but for big sites this is still an extremely cheap solution. You can play back any recorded session and actually see what the user was doing, what areas he was focusing on, what he clicked on, etc. It's pretty freakin' amazing.

It's completely anonymous, so it's not like spying on the users. Another thing you will see is that ClickTale aggregates all these recordings and generates heat-maps for you. Which areas of your site are hot and which are not. Very cool. Or very hot in this case.

Anyway, head on over there and sign-up for FREE. Installation is very easy and straight forward. If you have any problems, leave me a comment or get help in their massive user forum.

Let me know what you think?

Twitter & June Truckin'

Another time drain. Like stupid assface book. I mean stupid-ass facebook. Everyone is doing so I should too? I guess I really did it so I can get updates from the WSOP writers. You can follow me by clicking here. You can also see my 5 last updates on the right (if you're reading this the regular old way and not through an RSS reader).

And speaking of WSOP writers, Pauly published another issue of Truckin'. I'm not featured in this one, but you can still head over there and read the amazing stories.

Fun with fools

This was fun. Sue me, I was in a mood, ok?

Dealer: Game #17942328984: Kajagugu wins pot (1200) - He min raised from SB so I shoved it in his face from the BB with JTo.
coachrobc: close 55 - I was in his head now. Get ready to get pwned fool!
Dealer: Game #17942337895: Kajagugu wins pot (400)
coachrobc: lame call
Dealer: coachrobc has high card Ace - AQo
Dealer: Kajagugu has two pair, Kings and Tens - KTs, a shade better than 60/40.
Dealer: Game #17942342180: Kajagugu wins pot (4740) with two pair, Kings and Tens
Dealer: coachrobc finished the tournament in 19th place
Dealer: We are now Heads Up
coachrobc [observer]: your a mroon
coachrobc [observer]: K 10 WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
Kajagugu: screw you
Kajagugu: loser
coachrobc [observer]: fAAAG
coachrobc [observer]: It spiss poor poker and you know it
Kajagugu: lets' see
coachrobc [observer]: why your a loser on scope and that fish jumps out
Kajagugu: that's what your mother said
coachrobc [observer]: just keep donling, one day you might get back to ev en
Kajagugu: donling?
Dealer: Kajagugu has a flush, Ace high
Dealer: aphysicist has a straight, Three to Seven
Dealer: Game #17942375772: Kajagugu wins pot (7200) with a flush, Ace high
Dealer: aphysicist finished the tournament in 17th place
coachrobc [observer]: such a joke
Kajagugu: go cry in your soup suckah


Now on to the second shootout.

UPDATE: Oh yeah, took it down:



Those chips at the bottom are MINE!

You can head over to PXF and see the full HH there.

BBT3 TOC Idea

I'm nowhere close to playing the TOC but I was just thinking, since half the people playing is got there through some sort of whacked out chop (you know who you are so don't even think we're not on to you fool!) wouldn't it be convenient for the final four to just chop and take 7K each? Just sayin'.

Hammer FTW - WWYD?

You think people make this shit up? This hand is from the $650 buy-in sat to the ME, paying 33 seats. On the bubble, this guy picked up Aces in the SB. He only has 37K to start the hand and decides to call the CL (500K) jam from UTG. CL has the hammer and knocks him out on the bubble without a seat:



I don't know where he stood overall before the hand, but I do know that there are two shorter stacks at his table. There are 34 players left so there have to be 3 other tables and possibly a couple more shorties. Blinds are 3k/6k.

What Would You Do?

I think it's a very hard spot to be in, but I hope I would have the sense to fold Aces. With 37K he has 3 orbits left. That's about 25 hands. A lot can happen.

How to build a poker bot

Not sure if I linked to this before, but I know some of you have not seen this and they already have the second installment up. If you want to get a little scared/worried/overjoyed head over to Coding the Wheel:

Part 1
Part 2

I especially liked the idea of running a ring of collusion bots that check player stats on a shared massive hand history database as well as querying sites like SharkScope and PokerDB.

Oh and I liked the spyware side of the story as well and if you didn't know that then WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Anyway, I have no coding ability or a need to set up a bot, because I actually have a life. And I didn't write any of it, I am just pointing my hordes of readers to it. The first part got probably 1 million hits after it came out, so this is no secret.

Enjoy!

Running this bad is hard to do

Busto on FTP and I don't really care. I can't stand playing there any more. The beats are so bad that it's not even worth the trouble:

KJ vs TJ (heads-up tourney): Jack on the flop, Ace on the turn, Ten on the river.
77 vs QTo - Jam pre and get insta-called for 1/3 stack by SB. Queen on the turn.
66 vs AQs - UTG raises 3.5xBB with AdQd and sees 3 callers before I need to complete 250 from the BB into a 1500 pot. No brainer. Flop 2 diamonds including a 6. I overbet 4500 into 1750 pot, giving no possible drawing odds but still get called for entire stack. Mercy killing as the turn is a third diamond of course. Ten outs don't get there. Standard.
AA vs KK - You know. 2 outer on the flop. Yeah.

I am using the PXF replayer to go over my play. I don't see a whole lot that I am doing wrong. But I play with a PUFF of 3 or 4 a lot, which is not very good. I'm also using PokerTracker 3. Some cool stats:

I got dealt Aces 14/3165 hands on Stars and won every single time.
I got dealt Aces 14/1948 hands on FTP and won all but twice. One was to the Kings. The second was to 53s when he flopped a flush and I held the nut flush draw with the Ace.
I got dealt Kings 9/1948 hands on FTP and won 7 of them. 2 others I missed when I was late to take my seat at the MATH.
I got dealt Kings 16/3165 hands on Stars and lost 3 times with them.

That is very surprising to me.

Anyway, I will probably get some piddly rakeback on FTP and see if I can take that and build a bankroll from nothing. If not, no biggie. I'll play on Stars. I seem to do better there anyway. And PXF leagues run on Stars anyway.

I played the $20 heads-up tourney last night and took 21/187 making the money and winning three straight before shoving A5o into Kings.
I also played for 4.5 hours in the $3 rebuy and was in the top 20 for most of that time. Eventually started spewing and busted 300/3100 ITM.
I won two seats to the 50/50 on Stars as well. One was a $5 rebuy, the other a $20 last chance. Check out this disciplined fold on the bubble:

Click here to view a larger version.

Tourney was over on the next hand and I got my seat. Good fold, right?