Tiger Woods Quits Golf

Well who didn't see this one coming. Tiger is going to focus on being a husband, father and person. Good luck with all that, dude. Actually I don't see the point. Why would Elin want him back? She can retire now with enough money to make Solomon blush. And why would Tiger, who has been unhappy with his marriage, want to fix things with someone who will never trust him again? Because of the kids? What, they won't find out? Will Tiger erase the Internet and MIB all of us with a flashy thing? Come on. Those kids are going to know that while they were still in utero their father fucked prostitutes, two or more at a time. So much for role model, sir. Well played. Mazal Tov.

Which brings me to another thing. Why the fuck did he have to quit on the first night of Hannukah? Haven't the Jews suffered enough? And then to add insult to injury he goes off to Sweden, where Nazi Germany got all their iron during the war. Nice job there, Swedes.

Oh and if you happen to look at Tiger's web site, it is absolutely hilarious because every headline and image on it could be read in a provocative manner. Check it out:

Club Tiger - Not a very exclusive club it turns out:

Tiger Mobile indeed - Hos text and follow Tiger on the go!

Tiger's reach is indeed global. Hos in every city:

Yeah, this on is great - Is it in you? LOL @ the toughness:

Tiger has obviously mastered playing the chunk-and-run:

It's very difficult for Tiger to leave his wife, Elin, and two children to go on the road - Sure it is...

Tiger is nothing if not consistent:

That's one fired webmaster right there...